You do you: A guide to masturbation
Masturbation is great, so give doing you a shot tonight and explore your body.
Okay, so maybe that’s not 100 per cent true, as there are many people who don’t feel sexual desire and have no interest in it or have personal reasons for choosing not to. But in general, most sexually active people (or those who want to be sexually active) masturbate.
Masturbation is an important aspect of anyone’s sexual experiences. It’s important to learn how your body works and feels before you can tell someone else how to pleasure you.
While there are numerous studies claiming masturbation can help with anything from cancer prevention to lengthening a penis, the best benefit gained from masturbation is the chemicals that are released in the brain while orgasming, like dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals can help raise your mood, and though it may only be temporary, in the moment you feel fantastic. So if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, stressed out, in pain due to PMS or are just plain horny, give masturbating a shot and you might see your mood drastically improve.
The first step to achieve peak masturbation results is to explore your body. Take a mirror and have a look at what you’ve got going on down there. The more comfortable you are with your own body, the more comfortable you’ll be touching yourself. By becoming comfortable with your body, you begin to associate your body with positive feelings as opposed to feeling shameful about your sexuality.
The second step is to figure out what feels best for you. For those with a penis, there are a number of unique masturbatory products available that provide a number of sensations. If none of these interest you or you are on a low budget, try experimenting by applying different levels of pressure on your genitals yourself.
Many of those with a vulva find they orgasm through clitoral stimulation as opposed to penetrative stimulation. This is why vibrators are so popular; the consistent vibration on the clitoris creates the perfect amount of stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Just like with penile masturbatory aids, vaginal masturbatory aids come in a number of styles that target different areas of the body.
One thing that may help you reach that elusive orgasm while masturbating is fantasizing. Many people have fantasies that they would never consider doing in real life for a variety of reasons; maybe they are too shy to voice their fantasies, they don’t have the resources, they are currently without a sexual partner or many other possibilities.
Masturbation is the perfect time to embrace your kinky side in the comfort of your own psyche. No one needs to know that you’re imagining having sex with the hot lifeguard at the pool (or with all of them). That’s a secret kept between you and your hand.
Masturbation etiquette is important to keep in mind as well. If you live with roommates or share a room, do your best to try and schedule in some masturbation time when no one is around. Your roommate is planning on going to the movies one night? Boom, you just found the perfect opportunity to spend some time getting to know your body and have a bit of fun with it.
Pro tip: make sure to lock your door.
As anyone who has ever successfully masturbated before knows, it can get messy. Those with a penis should try masturbating while using a condom; not only will this prevent a mess, but it will also help your body get used to stimulation while wearing a condom. For those using a dildo, consider putting a condom on it before use. That way you can just throw out the condom when you’re done without having to worry about finding that specialty toy cleaner the salesperson suggested you buy.
Reaching orgasm for the first time can be a scary experience for some. Your body is overwhelmed with sensations and you might even feel a little bit scared by what you’re feeling, but the first one is always the most intense.
One thing to keep in mind when it comes to masturbation is the idea that it is something that shouldn’t be kept secret. Turning a healthy expression of sexuality into a taboo and stigmatizing it will only make you feel guilty about it, and guilt and shame have no place in the bedroom.
Beware that there is a line where masturbation becomes unhealthy. If you are masturbating to the point where you are injuring yourself or you find yourself avoiding normal social activities in order to touch yourself, you may want to consider the idea that you have a problem. But don’t fret, help is out there if you feel like you can’t stop touching yourself, and you should feel no shame in reaching out for it.
The bottom line is if you’re not comfortable masturbating then maybe you should consider if you’re ready to have sex. Masturbation is a fun and safe way to get to know your body, to let off some steam and to feel pleasure. Just remember; masturbation is all about what feels best for you, so don’t feel any shame about what it takes to make you cum.