Porn instead of evening news
F-Channel viewers in London tuning in for the evening news got an eyeful of Euro glam when their trusty boob tubes began beaming home a Russian porn movie.
“I've heard of Russian porn but had never actually seen any,” said Bert Yoni, a third year Fanshawe automotive student who was lucky enough to catch the show on one of the large screen TV's in the Student Centre. “I was getting some work done late and decided to grab some eats and watch the news before heading back to the shop when that came live to air.
“I couldn't understand what they were saying because they were speaking Russian, but I could clearly see what they were doing and I didn't need a translator for that. Though the only disappointing thing is that the girls didn't look like Anna Kournikova. But hey, you can't have everything.”
Other viewers of F-Channel news were shocked and awed by the visual display of playful Russians frolicking on their TV's. Area viewers lit up the stations telephone lines with angry complaints.
“I come in every night from the barn to get caught up on the days news and to hear the farm report,” said Komoka farmer Dutch VanHoofenwinker. “Instead I get a ‘hog' report I wasn't all to interested in and there was nothing on soybeans, though I must admit the produce suggested that futures in melons looked ripe.”
F-Channel is blaming the mix-up on technicians from the station. They believe the workers had been using the station's facilities to watch XXX films broadcast from Russia.
Hundreds of locals took to the streets afterwards, some demanding the technicians be sacked while others voiced their support for finally airing some original content.
TV station regional manager Lanny Hughes said: “An initial probe confirms negligence on the part of the technicians in transmitting pornographic material from a Russian TV channel instead of the news.”
Meanwhile, Canadian cable providers have been flooded with calls from the London area hoping to have the Russian porn station added to their cable packages, but the cable providers first have to get the ok from the CRTC, and that could take months up to a year.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
“I've heard of Russian porn but had never actually seen any,” said Bert Yoni, a third year Fanshawe automotive student who was lucky enough to catch the show on one of the large screen TV's in the Student Centre. “I was getting some work done late and decided to grab some eats and watch the news before heading back to the shop when that came live to air.
“I couldn't understand what they were saying because they were speaking Russian, but I could clearly see what they were doing and I didn't need a translator for that. Though the only disappointing thing is that the girls didn't look like Anna Kournikova. But hey, you can't have everything.”
Other viewers of F-Channel news were shocked and awed by the visual display of playful Russians frolicking on their TV's. Area viewers lit up the stations telephone lines with angry complaints.
“I come in every night from the barn to get caught up on the days news and to hear the farm report,” said Komoka farmer Dutch VanHoofenwinker. “Instead I get a ‘hog' report I wasn't all to interested in and there was nothing on soybeans, though I must admit the produce suggested that futures in melons looked ripe.”
F-Channel is blaming the mix-up on technicians from the station. They believe the workers had been using the station's facilities to watch XXX films broadcast from Russia.
Hundreds of locals took to the streets afterwards, some demanding the technicians be sacked while others voiced their support for finally airing some original content.
TV station regional manager Lanny Hughes said: “An initial probe confirms negligence on the part of the technicians in transmitting pornographic material from a Russian TV channel instead of the news.”
Meanwhile, Canadian cable providers have been flooded with calls from the London area hoping to have the Russian porn station added to their cable packages, but the cable providers first have to get the ok from the CRTC, and that could take months up to a year.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
