Mildred Prig, the church gossip and self-appointed ‘Monitor of Morals,' notorious for sticking her nose into other people's business a bit off more than she could chew.

Several members of the small town church did not approve of Prig's extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence since she was a particularly nasty gossip.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank Bemire, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. Prig emphatically told Bemire (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. Bemire just turned and walked away.

That evening, Bemire drove to Prig's house, quietly parked his pickup in front and walked home, leaving it there all night.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.