Fanshawe exploring “Gated Community” concept
Fanshawe students already upset about being fenced in by the college won't be happy if their top secret plans come to fruition.
In a leaked document to the media by a concerned college employee it appears the fence that was ringed around the college's perimeter is only phase one of The Master Plan, phase two includes armed checkpoints at all college entranceways beginning as soon as September 2007.
The leaked memo suggests: “Lengthy discussions were had among external consultants and staff in Facilities Planning and Development, Campus Security and Health and Safety regarding access to the campus.
“After careful consideration of the known factors, it has become apparent that limiting access to the whole campus provided the best risk management option to promote personal security and safety of staff and students.”
According to Fanshawe's consultants, the firm of Colonel's Hogan & Klink Progressive Solutions, the main idea behind the armed barriered entranceways was to inconvenience as many people as possible, and since the new fencing ringed around the college was proving to be an effective irritant the college should follow through on phase two.
“It is our recommendation that this is the perfect solution to eliminate undesirables accessing the campus,” said consultant Barry Klink. “The reality is that only people that need to be on campus will endure going through the checkpoint.”
Students shown the college's plans weren't amused.
“It looks like they are turning the campus into a gulag,” said Russian exchange student Alexi Bure. “I already feel trapped when I am on campus. This is just another hassle nobody needs.”
“I can't believe that they would follow through on this,” said student Kirchner LeBeau, after hopping over the fence on his way home to his overcrowded eight bedroom Fleming Drive rental home. “I was kind of getting used to making the extra walk and was only hopping the fence because I had to rush home to do a number two. If they put that checkpoint in I'll have to keep risk life and limb jumping it every time.”
But for would be jumpers, the Master Plan phase three portion intends to add security details in 2008 at various points around the fence and then electrifying the fence to give jumpers a jolt similar to that of a cattle prod. After six months the amperage would be doubled and then tripled for September 2009.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
In a leaked document to the media by a concerned college employee it appears the fence that was ringed around the college's perimeter is only phase one of The Master Plan, phase two includes armed checkpoints at all college entranceways beginning as soon as September 2007.
The leaked memo suggests: “Lengthy discussions were had among external consultants and staff in Facilities Planning and Development, Campus Security and Health and Safety regarding access to the campus.
“After careful consideration of the known factors, it has become apparent that limiting access to the whole campus provided the best risk management option to promote personal security and safety of staff and students.”
According to Fanshawe's consultants, the firm of Colonel's Hogan & Klink Progressive Solutions, the main idea behind the armed barriered entranceways was to inconvenience as many people as possible, and since the new fencing ringed around the college was proving to be an effective irritant the college should follow through on phase two.
“It is our recommendation that this is the perfect solution to eliminate undesirables accessing the campus,” said consultant Barry Klink. “The reality is that only people that need to be on campus will endure going through the checkpoint.”
Students shown the college's plans weren't amused.
“It looks like they are turning the campus into a gulag,” said Russian exchange student Alexi Bure. “I already feel trapped when I am on campus. This is just another hassle nobody needs.”
“I can't believe that they would follow through on this,” said student Kirchner LeBeau, after hopping over the fence on his way home to his overcrowded eight bedroom Fleming Drive rental home. “I was kind of getting used to making the extra walk and was only hopping the fence because I had to rush home to do a number two. If they put that checkpoint in I'll have to keep risk life and limb jumping it every time.”
But for would be jumpers, the Master Plan phase three portion intends to add security details in 2008 at various points around the fence and then electrifying the fence to give jumpers a jolt similar to that of a cattle prod. After six months the amperage would be doubled and then tripled for September 2009.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
