Psychiatrist: PS3 looks like a seductive woman to gaming nerds, virgins
Veronica Beaverton wondered what the buzz was all about as she drove by the Super Duper Big Box Store of Electronics Friday morning. When she found out the that those lined up braved a cold night of rain for an opportunity to buy a $600 just launched PS3, she just shook her head.
“I just don't understand it. It's just a video game system,” said Beaverton. “I've never been into that kind of thing and can't imagine I ever will be.”
But a prominent psychiatrist has discovered the allure of the PS3 and video games in general for men.
“Most of these men view these video games like a woman. They see a woman, alluring and enticing,” said psychiatrist Lorrie Finklebottom. “Video games have a strange sexual allure for virgin men who have never felt the soft touch of a woman. The only flesh the majority of these men have had pressed is by their own hand, so the game console and the game pad control with its curves and buttons feels like a woman to them. Playing the game is orgasmic for many of these men.”
Finklebottom equates the orgy of men gathering outside retailers to stampede over one another “as a world infused with sexual sin through video games, where few have made the pledge to stay pure. And even fewer follow through with that pledge after they make it.”
For woman who remain confused about the whole video game concept and what attracts men to it he says woman have the same vices but they just don't see it.
“Video games to men is what purses and shoes are to women,” he said. “Go into any woman's closest and you'll find how many pairs of shoes that look similar, or purses that have to match each pair of shoes.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005
“I just don't understand it. It's just a video game system,” said Beaverton. “I've never been into that kind of thing and can't imagine I ever will be.”
But a prominent psychiatrist has discovered the allure of the PS3 and video games in general for men.
“Most of these men view these video games like a woman. They see a woman, alluring and enticing,” said psychiatrist Lorrie Finklebottom. “Video games have a strange sexual allure for virgin men who have never felt the soft touch of a woman. The only flesh the majority of these men have had pressed is by their own hand, so the game console and the game pad control with its curves and buttons feels like a woman to them. Playing the game is orgasmic for many of these men.”
Finklebottom equates the orgy of men gathering outside retailers to stampede over one another “as a world infused with sexual sin through video games, where few have made the pledge to stay pure. And even fewer follow through with that pledge after they make it.”
For woman who remain confused about the whole video game concept and what attracts men to it he says woman have the same vices but they just don't see it.
“Video games to men is what purses and shoes are to women,” he said. “Go into any woman's closest and you'll find how many pairs of shoes that look similar, or purses that have to match each pair of shoes.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005
