Reyno Rants: How to ace your exam

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Finals are right around the corner, make sure to follow these tips in order to ace your exams.

This is it. The final stretch of college. Ev­ery keg stand, skipped class and Netflix mara­thon has been leading up to this. Final exams. While studying for these is a good idea, we can’t just rely on tried and true methods here. We need to make sure to cover every single risk and possibility when writing an exam.

Don’t bring a pencil

Bringing a pencil with you to an exam will only cause you pain and suffering. When you’re bounding up the stairs to get to your assigned room, what do you think is waiting in your pocket to stab you in the thigh on that first step? How are you going to climb two flights of stairs with your newfound lead poi­soning? Skip the pencil and walk into your exam hazard-free. Asking the exam proctor for a pencil will not only break the ice be­tween the two of you, it will also show them that you value safety.

Show up fashionably late

Do you know who shows up late? Winners. When you strut into that exam 30 minutes af­ter it’s started, everyone’s going to turn their heads. I can’t think of a better confidence booster than seeing a 100 students stare in shock and awe. Showing up late also helps you dodge that anxiety of waiting for an exam to start. The last thing that you need is anxi­ety causing you to forget an entire semester’s worth of notes that you just skimmed over for the first time this morning. Confidence is key to passing an exam, and this tip will have you swimming in confidence before you’ve even written your name down.

Take naps as needed

The last thing that anyone needs is to col­lapse from exhaustion mid-exam. If you try to just power through those two hours you’re going to burn out and end up second guessing a lot of your answers. Napping is the obvi­ous solution here. At the halfway point take a pillow out of your backpack, place it on the desk and set a 15-minute alarm on your phone. Not only will you be refreshed, but your alarm will also wake up all of the other drowsy students, increasing morale and mak­ing you a hero.

Find the perfect chair

This may seem like an inconsequential decision, but the chair you sit in can lead to glory or spell disaster for an exam. So what defines a perfect chair? Squeakiness. You need to find the squeakiest, ricketiest, loud­est damn chair in the entire room and claim it as your own. Spend the entire exam rocking back and forth, distracting everyone around you and causing general mayhem for their concentration. This will lower everyone’s grade, causing the proctor to have to bell curve everybody up. Not only will you raise your own mark, but you’ll also be helping out the entire class. What a good Samaritan you are.

Bring your phone

Lots of people opt to leave their phone at home or in their backpack when writing an exam. This is a rookie mistake. Confidently sit at your desk and place your phone face up on the corner. This will allow you to monitor the time efficiently, and make sure that you don’t miss any important texts during your exam. Heaven forbid Snoop Dogg texts you and asks if you want to be in his next mu­sic video. Exams are important and all, but do you know what’s more important? Snoop Dogg.

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