After an intense eight hour search, puppy and master were finally reunited when Fido was found stuffed and hiding in a crack.

Morgan Summers was elated to have found her dog hiding in the crack of her ass after scouring the neighbourhood for hours on end. Her dog was no worse for wear despite the obvious traumatic effects of having been stuck in the crack of Summers ass for hours.

Summers said she discovered Fido when she could no longer hold her bowel movement and desperately needed to urinate.

“I didn't want to pee my underpants. I'd been holding it for about five hours and it was too much,” said Summers. “To top it off, with my gastrointestinal problem flaring up due to the combination of stress and my homemade Chili with corn working its way through, it was just time for me.”

It wasn't the first time that Fido had been stuck in Summers crack but it was the longest time he'd been stuck there.

Continued on page A11

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Prouldy distorting the truth since 2005