Barry Whittaker, left, married a Keg in a crazy one night stand. Whittaker, holidaying in Las Vegas, and the Keg were married at the Elvis Is Alive All-Night Wedding Chapel. In a truly bizarre moment, Whittaker professed his love for the Keg and repeatedly showered her with kisses and affection. Following the ceremony Whittaker and Keg returned to their room at the Slop, Mop and Go Motel for a night of wedded bliss. Whittaker announced that he was ready to go all night long with Keg, unfortunately after his two minutes of thunder Whittaker rolled over, puked and went to sleep.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Prouldy distorting the truth since 2005