Chat With Nat: Making the move from friends to more than friends
Dear Nat,
I'm interested in this girl that I've been friends with for a while. We're not BEST friends or anything, but we know each other well enough and we talk fairly often. This is great and all, but I think I'm currently stuck in the dreaded friendzone. (Womp, womp.) Is there any hope of escaping?
Stuck
Dear Stuck,
Ah, the dreaded friendzone — it happens to the best of us. Although getting out of it can sometimes be tricky, it's not completely impossible, but you've got to be willing to put yourself out there in order to escape. Lucky for you, it sounds like you're willing to take on the challenge, so here's my advice:
1. Stop acting like her friend! If you're really interested in making this happen and not just fooling around, then let her know. Now, I'm not saying you should go full out Casanova, but playing things “casually intimate” wouldn't hurt. Begin by inviting her out to a party with some of her friends. Have mutual friends? Even better — she'll be more inclined to drop by. Not only will you start off by creating a non-threatening environment for her to socialize in, you'll also get that time to get to know her better and vice-versa.
2. BE FUN! Anyone can throw together a movie or dinner date, but what will set you apart is showing her that you're unique. Someone once told me that fun is directly connected to arousal, which is totally believable. If you're exciting, she'll be enticed to stick around. (Haunted ghost walk, anyone?)
3. Show initiative, but don't be her crutch! If she's the type to tell you about all her relationship and crush problems, get her to cap it. Turn a deaf ear and distance yourself for a while. Doing this will get her to notice what she's missing when you're gone and hopefully put things in perspective.
4. Flaunt your confidence and positivity! Nothing's sexier than someone who's happy and comfortable in their own skin. These two factors together create a powerful magnetic affect that will definitely turn heads and make you memorable. So go ahead, be her silver lining.
5. And finally, keep busy! No one likes a couch potato, so get up and keep active. Whether it's hitting the gym, socializing with friends, or volunteering somewhere, make sure you're not always at her beck and call. If she's worth it, be prepared to prove yourself. Plus, the busier you are, the more meaningful it'll be to when you make time for her.
So there you have it: five simple steps to get noticed. Good luck!
If you've got a query for Quinlan, shoot her an email at chatwithnat.fsu@gmail.com. All published questions will be entered into monthly random draws to win a $10 FSU coupon for Oasis and Out Back Shack.
I'm interested in this girl that I've been friends with for a while. We're not BEST friends or anything, but we know each other well enough and we talk fairly often. This is great and all, but I think I'm currently stuck in the dreaded friendzone. (Womp, womp.) Is there any hope of escaping?
Stuck
Dear Stuck,
Ah, the dreaded friendzone — it happens to the best of us. Although getting out of it can sometimes be tricky, it's not completely impossible, but you've got to be willing to put yourself out there in order to escape. Lucky for you, it sounds like you're willing to take on the challenge, so here's my advice:
1. Stop acting like her friend! If you're really interested in making this happen and not just fooling around, then let her know. Now, I'm not saying you should go full out Casanova, but playing things “casually intimate” wouldn't hurt. Begin by inviting her out to a party with some of her friends. Have mutual friends? Even better — she'll be more inclined to drop by. Not only will you start off by creating a non-threatening environment for her to socialize in, you'll also get that time to get to know her better and vice-versa.
2. BE FUN! Anyone can throw together a movie or dinner date, but what will set you apart is showing her that you're unique. Someone once told me that fun is directly connected to arousal, which is totally believable. If you're exciting, she'll be enticed to stick around. (Haunted ghost walk, anyone?)
3. Show initiative, but don't be her crutch! If she's the type to tell you about all her relationship and crush problems, get her to cap it. Turn a deaf ear and distance yourself for a while. Doing this will get her to notice what she's missing when you're gone and hopefully put things in perspective.
4. Flaunt your confidence and positivity! Nothing's sexier than someone who's happy and comfortable in their own skin. These two factors together create a powerful magnetic affect that will definitely turn heads and make you memorable. So go ahead, be her silver lining.
5. And finally, keep busy! No one likes a couch potato, so get up and keep active. Whether it's hitting the gym, socializing with friends, or volunteering somewhere, make sure you're not always at her beck and call. If she's worth it, be prepared to prove yourself. Plus, the busier you are, the more meaningful it'll be to when you make time for her.
So there you have it: five simple steps to get noticed. Good luck!
If you've got a query for Quinlan, shoot her an email at chatwithnat.fsu@gmail.com. All published questions will be entered into monthly random draws to win a $10 FSU coupon for Oasis and Out Back Shack.
