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We have all seen them. At the end of every semester, Fanshawe scholars in all programs cut back on their viewing of Canadian “Idle” in favour of opening textbooks that were once safe from human contamination. Students, who, under most conditions, behave like normal people, drive up the value of Red Bull shares by consuming every can of it in the city down to the last drop so they can study for hours on end, complete course assignments, and prepare themselves for exams.

Whence this madness? Somehow the desire to improve grades grows beyond all reasonable proportion as the end of the semester imposes itself on the otherwise tranquil intellect of the 21st-century student.

How does one avoid the over-indulgence in study that many tragically pursue between Reading Week and the end of the term? A very difficult challenge, to be sure, but there is hope. Consider the following.

Most students know that one way to maintain a healthy balance between fun and study is to avoid secluded corners of the library and study in areas where one easily finds relief from the textbook in friends dropping by. But, thanks to our wireless world, even that scenario, greatly desirable as it already is, can be much improved.

Make sure that all the notification sounds on your smartphone are turned on. That way you will not miss any of the text messages, emails and phone calls that come your way. Also, be sure that you have a few alarms set to go off during the day. When you are in the middle of comprehending for the first time a complex algebraic formula, it will come as welcome relief that it is 45 minutes before noon, giving you just three-quarters of an hour to pack up your books and secure your favourite spot in the Shack. Simple daily routines such as this are important to maintain because of the therapeutic stability they provide during the topsy-turvy insanity of exam study.

In case you need more help, make sure you are also getting notifications from your favourite music artists and actors — there's nothing like getting a Tweet from J. Bieber or Elvis. Although, if Elvis is Tweeting you, you may have other issues to address.

Of course, having your phone emit a steady cacophony of sound may backfire. It has happened that other students who are not much into a healthy balance between study and the rest of life will find your audio events irritating. But take heart, friends. Such people are a bad influence anyway. You will do better without having them around to tempt you to study 15, 20, even 30 minutes in a row without interruption.

When the hour comes and you walk into the examination room, you will be able to hold your head high. While others have exhausted the supply of midnight oil and emptied the energy drink displays in every convenience store between Masonville and Ingersoll, you will have kept your dignity. What you lack in knowledge during the hour of examination will be more than made up for by your good night's sleep and your lack of worry about getting every answer correct.

What is an examination anyway but the accumulation of black marks on an otherwise blank sheet of paper? And since the paper was blank to start with, you're already half done even before you sign your name on it. That's your 50 per cent passing grade right there. Anything else is a bonus. These last few weeks before exams — enjoy!
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.