Beloved fast food icon shocks world by getting sex change

The world of fast food chain mascots took a jolt last week when Ronald McDonald revealed he's no longer a man after a sex change operation during the Christmas holidays.

“I finally gave myself something that I have been desiring for the past 40 years,” revealed McDonald, who wants to be called Cleopatra McDonald from here forward. “It's taken me this long to save up enough money for the sex change operation. You don't get rich working for McDonald's at ¢75 an hour. That's what I made when I started back in 1955, now I make $5.15 an hour, not exactly a Kings wage.”

Miss McDonaldMcDonald revealed that as a pimply faced teen (even the pounds of clown make-up couldn't help) starting out at McDonald's he enjoyed showing up to work wearing his mothers silk g-strings and a training bra under his official uniform.

“It was so empowering. I felt liberated. It was during these times that I realized I felt that I wanted to be a woman,” said McDonald. “I lived in fear for years of being found out, but part of me wanted to get caught. I always wished Hamburglar would've discovered my secret when he was trying to lift hamburgers, but that damned Grimace would always get in the way.”

The sex change revelation ends years of speculation as to whether Ronald/Cleopatra was or wasn't male. Many had wondered if McDonald had any genitalia at all, as none was evident through the form fitting clown outfit he/she wore. Even GI Joe, the symbol of American male dominance who came into prominence in the same era as McDonald did, had a package that gave American men pumped up chests with pride.

“I just hope all my fans understand that this was a difficult decision and I'm asking for their support as I begin my new life,” said McDonald. “I know I've talked to other burger chain mascots and they've been wholly supportive of my decision.”

One such mascot revealed in a Big Rods Magazine online interview this week that he finds the new look McDonald attractive.

“We had an opportunity to meet for coffee and I wanted Cleopatra to know that I supported her decision and that she could count on me as a friend and colleague,” said Burger King. “Then I found myself being drawn in by her eyes, and by the end of the conversation I was having full blown fantasies that oddly enough included Wendy from the Wendy's chain. Now has that for some special sauce on your burger?”

The McDonald's Corporation hasn't released any statements since being informed that their larger than life icon has changed sexes, and it remains unclear whether Cleopatra McDonald will remain as one of the enduring symbols of McDonald's, albeit with breasts now, along with the Golden Arches.

“I certainly hope McDonald's wants to continue our relationship. I've been working with them for all of my working life,” said McDonald. “Though this is a time of new beginnings, and if things don't work out I'll have to move on. The Great Root Bear has offered me a place to stay in his den if it comes to that, and as I understand it, Harvey's up in Canada doesn't have a mascot. Maybe they would be interested in my services.”

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