Cinema Connoisseur: Sorority Row pledges to entertain

Sorority Row (2009)

The newly released on home video thriller Sorority Row features many very lovely bodies to look at. However, it is the cold, blood stained one that proves to be the most interesting.

The sisters of the Theta Pi sorority are living a carefree life, filled with pillow fights, wild parties and promiscuous sex. Kind of reminds me of my college days, as I used to watch videos back then featuring all of those things. Jessica (Leah Pipes), Cassidy (Brianna Evigan), Chugs (Marsha Harshman), Claire (Jamie Chung), Ellie (Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce and Demi) and Megan (Audrina Partridge) portray the young ladies of Theta Pi. They are joined by Princess Leia, Carrie Fisher, as the sorority's den mother. Thankfully Fisher does not try to fit in with some of the scantily clad young cast members by donning her famous gold bikini of Return of the Jedi fame. 1983 was a long time ago (though not in a galaxy far, far away).

The lives of these young ladies are about get more complicated thanks to a prank gone awry. When they fake the death of Megan in order to get back at a cheating boyfriend, tragedy ensues. Megan actually ends up dying, and the sorority sisters, who have made a vow to “trust, secrecy and solidarity,” make the decision to toss the body in a well, and never speak about it again.

Sorority Row

Now, any of you who have tried to cover-up a murder know that complications arise in such situations. As the film moves along, we learn that not confessing and living with the consequences, and simply throwing the body in a well was not the correct decision. Storing the body in an abandoned mineshaft or in the bleachers of the Pheonix Coyotes' arena would have been so much wiser.

Just as the girls have graduated and are about to embark on the next phase of their lives, the past comes back to haunt them. One by one the girls are bumped off, and it leaves both the viewers and the sorority sisters wondering who is responsible — someone who knows about their misdeed or perhaps it is Megan herself.

The one thing I was able to gather from watching the DVD extras was that the production team was intent on making a horror film that was scary, but not gross. It is an homage to classic slasher films, as opposed to the kind of uncomfortable torture we see in current day horror movies, such as the Saw series of films. All of the kills are done in a suspenseful manner, so there is a payoff each time.

Sorority Row is an enjoyable ride from start to finish. Is it an intellectually stimulating film? Hell no, it just does what movies are meant to do — serve as an entertaining diversion, in this case for approximately 100 minutes. If you are looking for a movie that will scare you stiff and occasionally make you stiff, then check out Sorority Row.