Wizard tries to put spell on everybody
Between a cloud of smoke and a blinding light, the Amazing Ben was supposed to disappear for a captive audience.
Unfortunately the plan failed terribly on friday night at Joe's Magic Bar, where Ben was performing. Instead of disappearing, he only set off the smoke alarms.
Embarassed that he did not execute the illusion as planned, the amazing Ben tried to cast a spell on the skeptical audience, willing them to forget the night and return home without any recollection of seeing the show.
His trick, like so many other, failed.
“I don't understand why it never works in front of an audience,” Ben said during an aftershow apology. “It works at home all the time, seriously.”
Few members of the audience believed that his tricks ever worked, with or without an audience.
The angry crowd seemed to share the same view of Ben; the only magic he was performing was the magic of stealing their $12.50 for a terrible and lackluster magic show.
“Every weekend I try to take my wife to something different so she doesn't get bored,” said Kevin Wallace, one of the audience members. “She wanted magic, so I promised her magic. And all I got was this terrible act.
“Ben cost me alot of great sex tonight! Before we left, she said to me, ‘Kevin, if I don't see magic at the club, you don't see magic in the bedroom.'”
Wallace isn't the only one who is put out be the fraudulent houdini. The amazing Ben staffs a crew of 18, but their contracts contain a clasue stating that if the show flops, they don't get paid.
To make matters worse for the disgruntled staff, most of them are single mothers trying to scrape by and college students with mounting student loans. Many rely on the success of the show to pay their monthly bills and keep a oof over their heads.
“My car payments are already three months overdue, and the dealer is threatening to take it back if I don't get the money,” Ben's assistant Laurie said. “That's really bad news, because I sold the car to pay my mortgage payment last month.”
This show was the eigth in as many nights to lose money, and the staff has threatened that if thee are any more bad perfprmances, the amazing Ben will be trading his glass chamber for a wooden coffin.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
Unfortunately the plan failed terribly on friday night at Joe's Magic Bar, where Ben was performing. Instead of disappearing, he only set off the smoke alarms.
Embarassed that he did not execute the illusion as planned, the amazing Ben tried to cast a spell on the skeptical audience, willing them to forget the night and return home without any recollection of seeing the show.
His trick, like so many other, failed.
“I don't understand why it never works in front of an audience,” Ben said during an aftershow apology. “It works at home all the time, seriously.”
Few members of the audience believed that his tricks ever worked, with or without an audience.
The angry crowd seemed to share the same view of Ben; the only magic he was performing was the magic of stealing their $12.50 for a terrible and lackluster magic show.
“Every weekend I try to take my wife to something different so she doesn't get bored,” said Kevin Wallace, one of the audience members. “She wanted magic, so I promised her magic. And all I got was this terrible act.
“Ben cost me alot of great sex tonight! Before we left, she said to me, ‘Kevin, if I don't see magic at the club, you don't see magic in the bedroom.'”
Wallace isn't the only one who is put out be the fraudulent houdini. The amazing Ben staffs a crew of 18, but their contracts contain a clasue stating that if the show flops, they don't get paid.
To make matters worse for the disgruntled staff, most of them are single mothers trying to scrape by and college students with mounting student loans. Many rely on the success of the show to pay their monthly bills and keep a oof over their heads.
“My car payments are already three months overdue, and the dealer is threatening to take it back if I don't get the money,” Ben's assistant Laurie said. “That's really bad news, because I sold the car to pay my mortgage payment last month.”
This show was the eigth in as many nights to lose money, and the staff has threatened that if thee are any more bad perfprmances, the amazing Ben will be trading his glass chamber for a wooden coffin.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
