Pope's decision costs Student Union big dollars
In order to avoid having St. Patrick's Day celebrations conflicting with the Holy Week, Ireland's bishops petitioned the Vatican to move the saint's feast day to March 15th this year. The wish was granted, unbeknownst to most of the population of Fanshawe.
The pub, which most assumed would be taking place on Monday the 17th, actually was held on Saturday the 15th. Unfortunately, only one person was in attendance — a residence student who stumbled onto the scene by accident. This marks the lowest attendance in the event's 20-year history.
“All the bathrooms in residence were in use, so I decided to head over to the Student Union Building to take a leak,” explained the lone student attendee. When I was finished, I could hear the DJ spinning “Whiskey in the Jar”, so I headed over to the Out Back Shack. I was a wee bit lonely while I was there, but aside from that it was great. The DJ played all the songs I requested, and the beers kept coming, and I never had to wait in line at the bar. I may have had a few pints too many, and now that I think about it, I may have done some embarrassing things. Hopefully none of the staff will remember me.”
A representative from the FSU said that he was disappointed by the turnout, and cannot understand what caused the confusion.
“Why would we celebrate St. Patty's Day on Monday the 17th — that's not what the Pope told us to do. The St. Patrick's Day Pub was held on Saturday the 15th, as it should have been. It's really a smart idea having it on the Saturday, as you don't have to worry about waking up for school the next morning with a hangover. The Pope Knows Best is not just the name of a proposed VH1 reality show, it's a fact!”
When asked why all of the promotional material for the event stated that it would be taking place on Monday the 17th, the FSU rep responded, “Well, that's not right. I guess we should have double-checked that before printing it.”
