An annual office “Survivor” Pool has gone terribly wrong. With monies from the pool seemingly pilfered by an organizer, have office workers are pointing the finger squarely at the secretary.

When questioned about the assortment of designer shoes underneath her desk, the secretary flatly refused to comment, but coworkers grumbled openly about the secretary's quirky spending habits, going from discount stores to high couture in mere months.

I saw the secretary showing off her newest pair of pumps today although they were not Prada....she simply said ‘more shoes for the price,'” said Tim Travois (name changed to protect the innocent from retribution).

When questioned about her sudden spending habits by coworkers and denying viewing of the poolers mone,y the secretary turned nasty.

“She threatened to ignore all our incoming phone calls,” said Travois. “She then began restricting our access to supplies, and more importantly, she cut off access to the chocolates in the main office. She really was laying a bitch on us.”

Another coworker responded “You mean she wasn't ignoring all phone calls before?”

Questions began swirling around the secretary when the draw for names was initially done and she selected James, who is emerging as a favourite to win the reality show, and sleeps with two immunity idols tucked safely away to avoid being voted off.

The secretary has refused to engage the accusations, but some are now questioning the validity of the Secret Santa draw held a few days ago, saying the secretary got the best person in the office.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.