Putting the doggie bite on Vick

Payback's a bitch. Or in Michael Vick's case one big dog bite.

The Atlanta Falcons quarterback ran a foul of the law when reports began to surface he was the financier and owner of an outfit called Bad Newz Kennels on property he owned in Surry County, Virginia, and an alleged dog fighting ring when an investigation began looking into the operation in April.

As details of the sordid operation began to come to light dog lovers became enraged and morally disgusted with the canine shenanigans. The indignation led McGruff the Crime Dog, left, to step into the public eye once more after retiring nearly a decade ago.

McGruff designed and tested the chew toy designed after Vick. The proceeds from sales of the $10.99 Bite Vick Dog Chew will be donated to animal rights charities.

“The Bite Vick Dog Chew Toy is made of state of the art dog chew material,” barked McGruff. “The Vick toy is so strong and flexible, it will challenge every breed. Especially the pit bull.”

When the fighting dogs didn't quite measure up, Vick and his cohorts are accused of drowning, strangling, hanging, shooting and electrocuting the losing pups.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005