College seeks to become FINEshawe
The big question emanating from new students trying to get familiar with the campus: Is this FINEshawe or Fanshawe?
Well Virginia, the campus you have just entered is in a little nook in the galaxy called The Twilight Zone.
In an apparent effort to line college coffers with oodles and oodles of cash to help pay for more administrative catered lunches and wage increases, the campus has adopted a Parking & Traffic Violations & Fines system to soap more people out of their hard earned cash.
The campus adopted the fine system, which in some instances can see individuals fined $200 for things like Disobey officer/ College Authority directing traffic, after an exhaustive 15 month study, and countless man hours on the project. Conveniently the college copied and pasted the University of Western Ontario's fine system into a word document and made some slight word modifications from university to college to call the plan an absolute original. The adoption of the Western Plan is also contributing to a campus identity crisis.
First year student Rex Fleecedman is wondering what kind of education he's spending thousands of dollars on? “Is this FINEshawe College, Fanshawe College, or is this becoming a University? Making this F.U., and why is the school making me feel like it's giving me the F.U.?,” questioned Fleecedman.
A college spokesperson, speaking on the condition of anonymity suggests that the fine system and two year-old car jail will be supplemented with the addition of a drunk tank, and the making of all campus roadways toll roads.
“The ultimate goal is to make this campus to be more like a minimum risk Federal jail without all the frills prisoners get, like a golf course, swimming pools and horseback riding facilities,” said the spokesperson.
“I thought I was signing up for post-secondary education,” quipped Jennifer DeFlowered, “but the only thing secondary here is the way students are going to be treated by the campus officials.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005
Well Virginia, the campus you have just entered is in a little nook in the galaxy called The Twilight Zone.
In an apparent effort to line college coffers with oodles and oodles of cash to help pay for more administrative catered lunches and wage increases, the campus has adopted a Parking & Traffic Violations & Fines system to soap more people out of their hard earned cash.
The campus adopted the fine system, which in some instances can see individuals fined $200 for things like Disobey officer/ College Authority directing traffic, after an exhaustive 15 month study, and countless man hours on the project. Conveniently the college copied and pasted the University of Western Ontario's fine system into a word document and made some slight word modifications from university to college to call the plan an absolute original. The adoption of the Western Plan is also contributing to a campus identity crisis.
First year student Rex Fleecedman is wondering what kind of education he's spending thousands of dollars on? “Is this FINEshawe College, Fanshawe College, or is this becoming a University? Making this F.U., and why is the school making me feel like it's giving me the F.U.?,” questioned Fleecedman.
A college spokesperson, speaking on the condition of anonymity suggests that the fine system and two year-old car jail will be supplemented with the addition of a drunk tank, and the making of all campus roadways toll roads.
“The ultimate goal is to make this campus to be more like a minimum risk Federal jail without all the frills prisoners get, like a golf course, swimming pools and horseback riding facilities,” said the spokesperson.
“I thought I was signing up for post-secondary education,” quipped Jennifer DeFlowered, “but the only thing secondary here is the way students are going to be treated by the campus officials.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005
