Family seeks damages after baboon incident
The Smith Family of Grand River Ontario is pressing charges against Canada's African Lion Safari after their weekend getaway turned into a nightmare, when their hotel room was attacked by a gang of baboons.
The family will be pressing charges citing the endangerment of their children, and themselves.
“We pulled the kids out of school that morning,” said Mrs. Smith. “We wanted to surprise them, and we were all so excited.”
Mrs. Smith explained that they arrived that afternoon, but wanted to wait until the following day before taking the tour around the safari.
“It had been a long drive, and the kids were a little tired. We were all tired. We were just going to relax a little,” Smith stated.
She recalls, “There was a balcony and a glass sliding door, which when we checked in they made sure to tell us, about five times, that we should keep closed. We went for, literally, about half an hour to the swimming pool with the kids and I came back to get some stuff... and looked through the plate-glass window and found a pair of five-foot tall baboons on the bed, eating chocolate and having sex doggie, err, baboon style ... and there was a third buddy bouncing up and down on the couch, and another guy is like swinging from the curtains scratching and pulling his privates. I ran screaming, which they said is the thing not to do”
Mr. Smith said that it was very frightening for them, especially their children.
“It was absolutely ridiculous,” said Mr. Smith. “The least they could have done was apologize, maybe send us a gift basket to replace the chocolates, and the prophylactics the baboons used. Needless to say the wife wasn't in much of a nooky mood after all the drama.”
Mr. Smith explained that they had, in fact, done nothing at all. Management informed them of the problems they had been having with the baboons, but there was nothing they could do about them breaking into rooms.
“They said it was ‘the wild in them',” stated Mr. Smith. “‘Wild' my ass. Those stupid baboons ate my chocolates and used my prophylactics.”
Mr. And Mrs. Smith informed the press that their court date is scheduled for sometime next month.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
The family will be pressing charges citing the endangerment of their children, and themselves.
“We pulled the kids out of school that morning,” said Mrs. Smith. “We wanted to surprise them, and we were all so excited.”
Mrs. Smith explained that they arrived that afternoon, but wanted to wait until the following day before taking the tour around the safari.
“It had been a long drive, and the kids were a little tired. We were all tired. We were just going to relax a little,” Smith stated.
She recalls, “There was a balcony and a glass sliding door, which when we checked in they made sure to tell us, about five times, that we should keep closed. We went for, literally, about half an hour to the swimming pool with the kids and I came back to get some stuff... and looked through the plate-glass window and found a pair of five-foot tall baboons on the bed, eating chocolate and having sex doggie, err, baboon style ... and there was a third buddy bouncing up and down on the couch, and another guy is like swinging from the curtains scratching and pulling his privates. I ran screaming, which they said is the thing not to do”
Mr. Smith said that it was very frightening for them, especially their children.
“It was absolutely ridiculous,” said Mr. Smith. “The least they could have done was apologize, maybe send us a gift basket to replace the chocolates, and the prophylactics the baboons used. Needless to say the wife wasn't in much of a nooky mood after all the drama.”
Mr. Smith explained that they had, in fact, done nothing at all. Management informed them of the problems they had been having with the baboons, but there was nothing they could do about them breaking into rooms.
“They said it was ‘the wild in them',” stated Mr. Smith. “‘Wild' my ass. Those stupid baboons ate my chocolates and used my prophylactics.”
Mr. And Mrs. Smith informed the press that their court date is scheduled for sometime next month.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
