We watched the worst movies of 2016 so you don't have to

Header image for Interrobang article CREDIT: PARAMOUNT PICTURES
According to movie reviewers Nick Reyno and Kerra Seay, Zoolander 2 is a pathetic attempt to revive a series that never needed a sequel. Find out what movies made the cut for the worst movies made during the worst year ever.

Every year, the Razzie Awards recognize the worst Hollywood had to offer us, from worst movie to worst ensemble. For some reason, Interrobang columnists Nick and Kerra thought it would be a good idea to voluntarily watch all six films nominated for Worst Movie of 2016. Thankfully, they established a rating system of how many beers it would take to get through each one. You're welcome.

Batman v Superman

How to Survive: 3 beers and a nap

This movie was a two-and-a-half-hour trailer for a fight scene that became boring within three minutes. Considering the budget and effort that went into the latest installment of the umpteenth reboot of Superman, this movie was a surprising letdown. Not even an older more battle-hardened portrayal of Batman could save this flop from putting an entire theatre to sleep. We had hopes that the final epic battle would save this movie from the brink of Razzie acclaim but in a way, the battle nudged it closer than the rest of the movie. This was the first time in our lives that we have looked forward to a fight scene ending. There are no redeemable qualities that squeeze even a drip of excitement from movie. The film could have easily been chopped in half and perhaps it would have become palatable. We were so bored and ready for the movie to end that by the time the heroes really started scrapping, no one cared who won. Batman v Superman is possibly one of the worst paced movies of the last five years. Wake me up for the next Marvel movie because these DC flics are just getting worse and worse.

Dirty Grandpa

How to Survive: 3 beers and a juice cleanse

You would think that Oscar winner Robert De Niro would know better than to sign on to shoot Dirty Grandpa; unfortunately, you would be wrong. By far not the worst movie on this list, Dirty Grandpa is just under two hours of film time filled with everything you would never want to even think about your own grandpa doing, never mind actually seeing it. Grandpa De Niro spends the entire movie trying to sleep with a college girl in Daytona. Seriously. And his poor grandson, played by Zac Efron, is a stereotypical tight ass stuck in a vanilla, suburban relationship with his boring but beautiful fianc. He even wears a goddamn sweater vest. The stereotypes of “Bad INSERT NOUN” movies (Bad Teacher, Bad Moms, you see where we're going here) are predictably raunchy, and if that's your thing then you'll love this movie. But if not, stay clear of this one because not even Zac Efron's delicious abs can make us forget about some of the things we saw in Dirty Grandpa.

Independence Day: Resurgence

How to survive: 4 beers

If you want to see a movie about humanity battling aliens hellbent on planetary destruction, watch Independence Day. If you want to see a movie about idiotic blunders, plot holes and amateur mistakes that jeopardize the lives of billions of people, watch Independence Day: Resurgence. The sequel that nobody asked for is the kind of movie that makes you scratch your head for two hours wondering “Why the f*** would they do that?”

Seriously, this movie is full of idiots. Idiots who declare war on an unknown alien race that has displayed no aggression towards Earth. Idiots whose first response to alien contact is deploying every plane in the military arsenal without any plan whatsoever, no reconnaissance, no communication, nothing. Idiots who contain a nuclear blast within a forcefield yet drop the barrier when enemy aliens appear within the flaming wreckage.

The most intellectual thing about Independence Day: Resurgence was Will Smith's agent, who warned him to stay the hell away from it.

Gods of Egypt

How to Survive: 4 beers and 2 shots of tequila

Right from the start you can tell that Gods of Egypt is going to be terrible, with awful CGI and a British narrator even though the movie is set in Egypt which, if you were unaware, is in Africa. Jaime Lannister, I mean, Horus, rules a peaceful Egypt and is loved by his followers. Everyone is happy and perfect and will live happily ever after.

At least, they do for a whole 10 minutes into the movie until Set, played by Irish actor Gerard Butler (???) walks in, steals some eyes and takes over Egypt, spilling a ton of gold god-blood in the process.

There were barely any redeeming qualities to this movie. Some top of the line CGI effects include a toilet- flush style descent into hell, 10 foot tall gods (that made the human characters look like Oompa Loompas) and a ridiculous amount of really fake looking gold.

And the crme de le crme of this crap movie? A stupid romantic subplot between characters who literally don't matter at all and we zero per cent care about. We were secretly hoping for an arrow through our own hearts, just so we didn't have to keep watching this suckfest of a movie. Oh yeah, and apparently the Earth is flat.

Zoolander 2

How to Survive: chug enough vodka to blackout and forget about this ever happening

For a movie that boasts a whopping 39 celebrity cameos, including two appearances from Neil de- Grasse Tyson, Zoolander 2 is really really ridiculously bad. The jokes in this movie couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a shotgun and most often they come across as offensively distasteful. Zoolander 2 makes gross jokes about everything under the sun and is sure to enrage anyone who considers themselves a feminist, or even a decent person. The movie makes jokes about foreigners, bestiality, unplanned pregnancy, pedophilia, being fat, polyamory, non-binary and trans individuals, Malala, crashes caused by texting, child abandonment and that's not even the half of it. This movie was made explicitly for people with white male privilege oozing out of their salmon coloured shorts purchased with Mommy and Daddy's hedge fund money. Zoolander 2 is a pathetic attempt to revive a series that never needed a sequel. The original film was perfect and we should all move forward with our lives pretending that no further installments were ever filmed.

Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party

How to Survive: You don't.

We honestly couldn't finish this movie, and we don't even recommend you watch it just so you can see how bad it is.

While acknowledging that we are both liberal-leaning voters, we think even Republicans could watch this movie and realize its 90 per cent BS. There's literally a website dedicated to fact checking this “documentary”.

Filled with blatant untruths presented as cold hard facts, bad acting and overdramatizations, we don't even want to consider this a movie because it is so inherently flawed.

Is the Democratic Party flawed? Of course it is. But it's hard to take a documentary seriously when it starts off with a dramatic court scene that didn't actually happen.

Honestly, we weren't even drinking during this one. We were just watching in stunned silence while furiously fact checking.