Here's the glue to piece your heart back together
Breaking up with someone is like
leaving a part of you behind. We are
not robots that can just turn off or
transfer our feelings, thoughts and
aspirations for someone we once
shared a relationship of love, affection
and respect with. However,
sometimes we just discover deal
breakers or unfortunate circumstances
that force us to realize our
relationship just wasn’t meant to be.
At times though, it’s the aftermath that is more painful than the decision itself, but you have to get through it. We go through the various stages with a feeling of hopelessness and uncertainty of whether it will ever get better, but it always helps to know that there indeed is light at the end of the tunnel. Just follow these steps to help you get past the heartbreak.
1. Yell
Anger is the first emotion that comes in the aftermath of the break up. The questions like, “How could they do this to me”, “I put in so much work in a relationship and this is what I get in return” keep coming into your mind. Your pride wants you to make it look like you are moving on with dignity, but the emotions are so powerful you can’t help but feel a little dramatic about it.
2. Cry
When a person is hurt, the endocrine system of the body releases hormones that protects the eyes by covering it with water, and when water releases, the body releases another hormone which acts like a tranquilizer and makes the person feel calmer. This helps the person to temporarily stop feeling pain and help them begin to heal. So don’t feel bad about having a good cry, your body needs it.
3. Recognizing the flaws
Reality sets in at this stage. Crying may give you temporary relief, but it won’t help you get closure. Before any closure can happen you have to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship; this includes your own mistakes as well. It’s natural for you to see your ex and your relationship in a positive light, but reminding yourself of the flaws will help you accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. It’s like affirming why this break up was a good idea.
4. Back to crying
Reflecting on your relationship brings along a strange guilt because the flaws were present even when the relationship was going on. And when we were able to love someone with the flaws, it sounds ridiculous to think that we hate them for those reasons. This brings you back to crying again to heal oneself further with an air of acceptance that the relationship is ended.
5. Moving on and cutting them off
By this time, all the pretension has ended and acceptance of the break up comes along. At this stage, either a person can be indifferent to their ex or hate them. However, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Sometimes, the feeling never dies so it transforms into hate, and at other times, life catches up with them and the feelings go away as if they were never there. It is at this point where you are ready to look past this relationship and enjoy being single.
At times though, it’s the aftermath that is more painful than the decision itself, but you have to get through it. We go through the various stages with a feeling of hopelessness and uncertainty of whether it will ever get better, but it always helps to know that there indeed is light at the end of the tunnel. Just follow these steps to help you get past the heartbreak.
1. Yell
Anger is the first emotion that comes in the aftermath of the break up. The questions like, “How could they do this to me”, “I put in so much work in a relationship and this is what I get in return” keep coming into your mind. Your pride wants you to make it look like you are moving on with dignity, but the emotions are so powerful you can’t help but feel a little dramatic about it.
2. Cry
When a person is hurt, the endocrine system of the body releases hormones that protects the eyes by covering it with water, and when water releases, the body releases another hormone which acts like a tranquilizer and makes the person feel calmer. This helps the person to temporarily stop feeling pain and help them begin to heal. So don’t feel bad about having a good cry, your body needs it.
3. Recognizing the flaws
Reality sets in at this stage. Crying may give you temporary relief, but it won’t help you get closure. Before any closure can happen you have to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship; this includes your own mistakes as well. It’s natural for you to see your ex and your relationship in a positive light, but reminding yourself of the flaws will help you accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. It’s like affirming why this break up was a good idea.
4. Back to crying
Reflecting on your relationship brings along a strange guilt because the flaws were present even when the relationship was going on. And when we were able to love someone with the flaws, it sounds ridiculous to think that we hate them for those reasons. This brings you back to crying again to heal oneself further with an air of acceptance that the relationship is ended.
5. Moving on and cutting them off
By this time, all the pretension has ended and acceptance of the break up comes along. At this stage, either a person can be indifferent to their ex or hate them. However, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Sometimes, the feeling never dies so it transforms into hate, and at other times, life catches up with them and the feelings go away as if they were never there. It is at this point where you are ready to look past this relationship and enjoy being single.
