How to handle a breakup in five easy steps
Ah, February, the most depressing
month of the year. Some would
argue that post-holiday malaise
renders January more deserving of
the title, but according to statistics
released by world dating site AnastasiaDate.com, February is in fact
the cardinal season of dumping and
being dumped for one in 10 Americans,
out of a sampling of 2000
people.
Perhaps the pressures of Valentine’s Day prompts couples to re-evaluate their level of commitment, or maybe the spirit of the New Year jump starts the need to start over. Whatever the reason, breakups can be horrendous events for both the dumper and dumpee. Should you find yourself suddenly single this month, here is my own patented guide, based on what is assuredly a wealth of personal experience, to help you cope.
1. Disconnect
Back in my day, a breakup meant turning off the fire alarms, revving up the flame-thrower and sipping on a glass of $8 wine while warming yourself by the blazing Kodak’s in the kitchen sink.
Today, social media makes it difficult to purge yourself of the past when you need to move on. Deleting old pictures may seem extreme, but what’s crazier is leaving them for the world (read: potential new partners) to see.
Would you leave a picture of your ex hanging in your bedroom? Begin the necessary grieving process by taking those pictures and other reminders down.
2. Feel the awful searing pain
Feel it and feel it now, in the privacy of your own home, either alone or surrounded by family and friends.
Don’t feel the pain at work. Don’t feel it when you’re driving. Don’t feel it at school.
The pain of a breakup can be incredibly distracting and put an unnecessary strain on important areas of your life, so rip off that Band-Aid and feel the pain when you can and as soon as you can. The only thing worse than breaking up is letting priorities slip because of a breakup.
3. Treat yourself
To everything and anything that will make you feel healthy and happy. This should be practiced inside and outside of relationships, but the great thing (yes, great) about breakups is that they serve as a reminder to pay attention to yourself and your needs.
Rehashing the holes of an old relationship can only get you so far; focusing on yourself and your eternal awesomeness will get you way, way farther.
4. Get some perspective
Breakups are not a sign of inadequacy, but simply the result of change and personal growth on both ends.
Growing never stops, and with a population of seven billion, you’re more than likely to find a better- suited partner in due time.
Meanwhile, this is a great opportunity to evaluate how you’ve grown since you were last single. Think of this as a vital checking point. And remember, breakups happen to everyone, so don’t you dare be too hard on your lovely, human self.
5. Take your time
After ice cream, movies, pep talks and whatever else you may need, all that’s left to do is move forward.
Never wait until your next relationship for life to “begin again”. Now that you’re single, focus on your career, hobbies and friends; in other words, focus on all the things that make you, you.
The ideal partner will see you for who you are and love you for it, so the best way to attract them is by putting yourself first. The time you spend with yourself is the time you spend doing your favourite things, so enjoy every second and make it last.
In the end, breakups should be seen as milestones akin to losing first teeth and graduating high school, painful and scary, yes, but ultimately an exciting chance to meet and embrace who you are turning out to be.
Perhaps the pressures of Valentine’s Day prompts couples to re-evaluate their level of commitment, or maybe the spirit of the New Year jump starts the need to start over. Whatever the reason, breakups can be horrendous events for both the dumper and dumpee. Should you find yourself suddenly single this month, here is my own patented guide, based on what is assuredly a wealth of personal experience, to help you cope.
1. Disconnect
Back in my day, a breakup meant turning off the fire alarms, revving up the flame-thrower and sipping on a glass of $8 wine while warming yourself by the blazing Kodak’s in the kitchen sink.
Today, social media makes it difficult to purge yourself of the past when you need to move on. Deleting old pictures may seem extreme, but what’s crazier is leaving them for the world (read: potential new partners) to see.
Would you leave a picture of your ex hanging in your bedroom? Begin the necessary grieving process by taking those pictures and other reminders down.
2. Feel the awful searing pain
Feel it and feel it now, in the privacy of your own home, either alone or surrounded by family and friends.
Don’t feel the pain at work. Don’t feel it when you’re driving. Don’t feel it at school.
The pain of a breakup can be incredibly distracting and put an unnecessary strain on important areas of your life, so rip off that Band-Aid and feel the pain when you can and as soon as you can. The only thing worse than breaking up is letting priorities slip because of a breakup.
3. Treat yourself
To everything and anything that will make you feel healthy and happy. This should be practiced inside and outside of relationships, but the great thing (yes, great) about breakups is that they serve as a reminder to pay attention to yourself and your needs.
Rehashing the holes of an old relationship can only get you so far; focusing on yourself and your eternal awesomeness will get you way, way farther.
4. Get some perspective
Breakups are not a sign of inadequacy, but simply the result of change and personal growth on both ends.
Growing never stops, and with a population of seven billion, you’re more than likely to find a better- suited partner in due time.
Meanwhile, this is a great opportunity to evaluate how you’ve grown since you were last single. Think of this as a vital checking point. And remember, breakups happen to everyone, so don’t you dare be too hard on your lovely, human self.
5. Take your time
After ice cream, movies, pep talks and whatever else you may need, all that’s left to do is move forward.
Never wait until your next relationship for life to “begin again”. Now that you’re single, focus on your career, hobbies and friends; in other words, focus on all the things that make you, you.
The ideal partner will see you for who you are and love you for it, so the best way to attract them is by putting yourself first. The time you spend with yourself is the time you spend doing your favourite things, so enjoy every second and make it last.
In the end, breakups should be seen as milestones akin to losing first teeth and graduating high school, painful and scary, yes, but ultimately an exciting chance to meet and embrace who you are turning out to be.
