My Series of Unfortunate Events: Proper shopping protocol

Header image for Interrobang article CREDIT: CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC

Hi, my name is Jenna and I am a shopaholic. Phew, glad we got that out of the way, I had been holding it in for far too long.

I didn't think it was that big of an issue until I had to be physically taken out of a store (by my mom, not by an aggressive security guard). I put most of the blame on window displays; they are just so well put together!

If you are also wondering if you're also a shopaholic, here are a few symptoms: even after a day of shopping you can't help but think of that cardigan that you didn't buy. Even though you already own the same one in six other colours, you drive right back to the store the following day to pick it up. That's when you should start becoming a bit concerned, but you have officially received the title of a shopaholic if it starts to interfere with your relationships. After all, there's only so much time in a day.

So anyways, enough about you, back to me. As someone who spends quite a bit of time in the mall, I have gotten to know the shopping protocol quite well, unlike others. If you're spending the day at the mall, leave your dirty laundry at home. Just the other week, I listened to a half-hour argument between a couple about cutlery. It sometimes is a great way to get your daily soap opera fix, if that's your kind of thing.

One thing I try to avoid at all costs is trying things on in the fitting room. There are two types of fitting rooms in my opinion: the ones that you can pretty much help yourself to, that usually have no door locks and also mysterious carpet stains. Or there are the types with a 30-person lineup and alarmingly loud music. Those lineups are usually caused by the shoppers who insist on showing every item of clothing to their parents, friends and family pets who are outside the door.

Shoppers aren't the only ones who demonstrate strange behaviour; turns out employees are equally at fault. Sometimes I just want to browse around a shop, not be harassed around every corner asking if I'd like to try out a sample (unless it's Costco, of course).

At the end of the day, there will always be people looking to make your shopping experience one to remember, for better or for worse. Maybe those people were put there purposely to stop us shopaholics from causing credit card damage. If that's the case, it's not working.

Happy shopping!
Previous Article
Next Article