CREDIT: R.I.P. AMANDA TODD FACEBOOK PAGE
Amanda Todd took her own life after being bullied for years.

I'm so sorry about Amanda Todd's death and so depressed that hateful bullying can still occur in our school system. Todd was just 15 years old when she took her life recently in Port Coquitlam, B.C. after facing hellish bullying for three years at three different schools.

In my day it was verbal mockery about being Chinese and Englishspeaking in the French neighbourhoods where I grew up in Montreal. It got to the point that I refused to go outside to play. My brothers, sister and I were also terrorized by a bully who took lunch money, called us names, and badly burnt my brother's hand once by holding it against a motorcycle engine.

High school had tough girls who left me alone but once attacked my best friend. As a parent I've seen a couple of my kids' friends turn on them and ostracize them because of some dispute. It's heartbreaking to see your children's bewilderment, fright and sadness at being a target.

Just when you think you're safe because you're an adult now, you run into bullying in relationships and in the workplace. I had one boss whom I can very well picture having been a mean girl in high school. She carried on in her supervisory position of six employees, including me, by making cutting remarks about my work, and apparently personal attacks behind my back.

Work got so bad I felt paralyzed with unhappiness and lost confidence in my abilities. Finally, I quit even though I loved the job. I wish now I had reported her to our Human Resources department because she kept up her harassing behaviour after I left, and for all I know, she is still torturing employees.

So what can we do about bullying? At my kids' elementary school they had a fabulous anti-bullying program that featured "Telling, Not Tattling." The kids were shown the difference between "tattling," which was complaining about trivial things, and "telling," which was getting help from the closest teacher or playground supervisor when someone was getting bullied. Telling on the bully by witnesses or bystanders, as well as the victim, was encouraged in order to support the victim and stop empowering the bully who usually got away with his/her bad behaviour because of the passivity of peers and the school community. And my kids' principal was good with following up complaints.

I can't help but wonder how parents of bullies don't know about their kids' behaviour. I hope some kind of punishment for cyber-bullying will develop as a result of Todd's suffering. But in the wider scheme of things, it's up to all of us to not condone bullying by calling it out for what it is when we see it happening. And there should be a procedure for reporting, stopping and punishing virulent bullies in schools and the workplace.

I would like some version of an anti-bullying program or procedure to be in place and well-publicized everywhere that kids or adults interact. I sure could've used one in my last job. And Amanda Todd might be alive now if only her attackers had been held accountable earlier.

Susie Mah is President of the Fanshawe Adult Social Club. Our next meeting is on October 23, at 6 p.m. at the Out Back Shack. All welcome! Email Susie at ascfanshawe@hotmail.com.