A popular debate between men and women is whether they can they really be just friends. You may have seen that YouTube video created by young, independent Filmmakers Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero entitled “Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends.” (If you haven't seen it, you can check it out at tinyurl.com/youtube-menwomenfriends.) To try to find the answer to this famous dispute, they went to Utah State University library and asked students their honest opinions. The girls overwhelmingly said yes, and almost all the guys answered no. The basis for most men saying they can't be friends with girls is because they would sleep with their girl friends if the opportunity presented itself. The truth is, that can't stop people from being friends. You can be physically attracted to one of your friends, but not want to be with them. Here are a few reasons why we think we can't be friends.

The Media
For years we have seen friendships on TV and in the movies turn into something more; that's how all the great loves start. Friends is a perfect example: Ross and Rachel were friends, but Ross was in love with Rachel and that made it hard for them to just be friends. Then they got together, broke up, got together, broke up and showed millions of viewers that men can't be friends with women, especially their exes. Monica and Chandler went from years of just being friends to becoming romantically involved. At the same time you have Phoebe and Joey, who never got together, but people don't focus on that friendship, they focus on the friendships that couldn't work.

Underlying Sexual Tension
No matter what, for most people in their opposite-sex friendships there is a natural sexual tension that seems to be present. So we think we can't be friends because of this, but that's not true. For some of us, deep down we know that there is nothing there besides an attraction, which is not enough. Just because you think someone is good looking and, given the opportunity, you would sleep with them doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with that person. This also proves to be a barrier for opposite-sex friendships when you are in a relationship with someone else. Even if there is nothing there, jealousy always has a way of showing up, which can cost some friendships.

Wrongful Intentions
It's true that some people do start a friendship with the intention of wanting it to turn into something more, and because of these people it makes it hard to decide what people are sincere or not. I know most people want to say this is usually a guy thing, but I have known women to do it too, although just because some people have an agenda doesn't mean everyone does.

So if we think guys and girls can't be friends, why do we continue to try to make them work? Both men and women get something out of these relationships that they don't necessarily get from same-sex friendships.

I have always been the kind of person who has more guy friends than female, and it's because guys don't have the drama that you tend to find in girl relationships. They don't bullshit you — they tell you the truth even if it hurts. Men also bring a different perspective to situations, and are able to give you insight into the common male, which becomes helpful when you're dating one.

Guys, on the other hand, don't really talk to each other, so having a female friend allows them to share and talk about things that they can't talk about with the guys. Girls listen, and guys find it easy to talk to us. We can also help them with their girl problems.

I'm not saying that all guys and girls can be friends — I know there are guys in my life I could never just be friends with; there is just way too much history and tension between us that makes it impossible to stay just friends — but that doesn't mean it can't happen. The truth is that you may have “guy friends” who do want something from you, but then they weren't just your friend to begin with. So in theory, yes, guys and girls can be just friends, but unfortunately it's not that easy. So when you find a great one, don't let go.