Madonna has been a fashion icon for decades, but no one could quite figure out what she was doing when she turned up onstage at last week's Grammys wearing a purple unitard with a satin corset and sequined high heels.

That is, until word got out on the identity of her new wardrobe manager, Richard Simmons.

The over-the-hill fitness guru joined Madge's style team just weeks before the Grammys, and inside sources say that he hasn't had time to fully adjust to his new role. That might explain the disasterous costume he dressed the Material Girl is as she rose from the fog during the opening performance at the show.

“Things were a little confusing around the studio while Dick was getting acclimated to his new job,” said Trudy LaFlare, who has been Madonna's makeup artist for nearly a decade. “He'll get used to things around here, once Madge straightens him out, and we'll start seeing less Richard and more Madonna in her future appearances.”

But skeptics aren't so sure. The notorious Joan and Melissa Rivers reported on the shiny digs at the post-Grammys party, and commented that she looked like “an old woman trying to relive her 80's glory days.”

“Someone needs to tell this woman that disco is dead, and she should stop trying to bring it back!” cried one of the members of ABBA in a phone interview. “Its just so painful to see her trying to put people through disco again. We just want to forget!”

People close to Madonna have said that bringing Richard Simmons on board was more of a personal whim than a smart, planned business decision.

“She really liked the flare he brought to those tank tops and short shorts, and thought he could bring some of that jazz to her new look,” said a spokesperson for Madonna.

Still others are speculating that it has more to do with Richard's background in fitness than his eye for tacky clothes. Madonna openly practices Kabballah, and has been known to try to convert everyone she meets to the fitness and religious practices of the ancient religion. Kabballah is likely what is keeping her 50-year old body from collapsing, and allows her to wear a unitard, regardless of how ugly it is.

In the future, expect to see a red Kabballah bracelet around Richard's wrist, or a newly released Sweatin' to the Oldies video featureing tracks from Madonna's new album, Confessions of a Dance Floor.

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