Dear Editor:

One of the things that gets me going is the discussion on clothing standards; it brings back memories, and, well, I've always had my thoughts about it.

First, about me: I grew up in a very strict home/church environment, and clothing was basically the main thing. We had to wear skirts 24/7, couldn't wear PJ pants to bed, couldn't wear snow pants unless we had a skirt over them — you don't know how annoying that was — and no shorts for sports. But we survived. Each year it changed a bit, finally we were allowed to wear just snow pants, and PJ pants in our room, and cool-lots (long, baggy shorts). But it was still annoying to have to wear skirts during the winter — we would freeeeeze! The boys didn't really understand how lucky they were to wear pants. "Just wear a skirt down to your ankles," or "Wear long johns underneath," they would say. Well ... sure, after you try it!

Our church was another thing; it just kept getting worse and worse. You couldn't wear flip-flops on the stage ... oops, I mean "platform," because they weren't shoes, the neckline for how low shirts should be got higher and higher till you would be wearing a turtle- neck. People would stare at you if you wore anything different; they would judge you and talk behind your back. After a while, clothing standards were all I heard preached, and I didn't care to listen. I was 13 when things started happening and finally our church shut down when we started visiting other churches to find a new one, I couldn't believe how different they were.

That year, so much changed, like the rules (we were allowed to wear pants, shorts, etc.); my parents started to relax; my personal life and walk with God grew immensely. I found a new church, new friends and a new me; it was like getting a second chance to do life over again. During the years at our old church, my siblings and I used to go to a Christian camp, it had the same strict rules I used to have (skirts, no shorts for girls, even during sports and games, etc.). I still enjoyed going and being with my friends. Those friends are the ones I get into the big discussions with over clothing standards, because I didn't like them. I'm not saying what they do and believe is wrong, certainly not, they just don't understand that you can wear shorts and still be modest. I think they go to the extreme and think "booty shorts" — TERRIBLE, but really, you can wear knee-length shorts, they are just as modest as a kneelength skirt! And seriously, shorts and pants are more modest than skirts, especially if you're playing sports! Skirts can be so impractical, but they are cute and fun to wear if you're going to church or if you just want to wear one.

Some of my old friends used to think that the people who wore pants, shorts and all those "bad" clothes weren't Christians (it was basically like a category). I used to be there, but being where I am today and wearing those so called "bad clothes," my spiritual life has only gotten better, part of it being that it's gone from "rules" to "decision," and I've made it my own. I don't have to worry as much now about how I look or how people will judge me. That took too much of my time and focus before; I was too busy on that to really focus on serving God. Now, don't get me wrong, I still make sure I don't look like a bum going to church, it's a little thing called "respect."

Clothing standards are different for each person and family, and you should never judge anyone because their standards are different from yours. Now, if it is someone you actually care for and they're wearing something immodest/inappropriate, you can always take them aside (never do it in front of their friends or whoever), and tell them with a loving heart your thoughts. Personal convictions are another thing, you need to pray and read your Bible, it's between you and God.

Just a thought for girls; you need to be careful with that you wear. Your outfit might be fine and all, but boys (friends or not) have hormones and minds (who knows what they are thinking?) and, well, they are gonna be attracted to us; it's how they are made. Always take that into account when you're getting dressed and going somewhere.

Immodest clothing can and will attract the wrong guys and crowds; one thing leads to another, they pull you away bit by bit, and then one day you realize just how far away you are and you can get into all sorts of trouble. You might be thinking, "It's just clothing, geeze," but Satan will use anything to get you further from God. Modest clothing, on the other hand, can attract the right guys, because you can pretty much know they won't be attracted to you for the wrong reasons. It's also Godly and people will respect you more.

One thing I've seen over the years is that you never want to take it too far. Yes, you need standards, but you never want it to get to the point where you're forcing others, or thinking that everybody who doesn't follow is "wrong" or "going to hell" or are "sinners" — yeah, we are ALL sinners, and it's not your place to judge.

"Over-strict" — I don't agree with that, God gave us bodies — heck, he made us naked at first, obviously we're not gonna walk around naked like Adam and Eve (thanks goodness), but I know God didn't mean for you to cover yourself in a full body suit to the point where people can only see your nose.

Sometimes I get perturbed talking to others about their reasons, especially when they contradict themselves or when they can't defend why they have the rules they do. It doesn't have to be complicated, but you should have a reason.

But no matter what, please dress appropriately (God-honouring).

A couple things to keep in mind when it comes down to making standards for you or for the whole family:

1. If you need help, talk to God, elders and your parents, and don't forget to pray and read your Bible.

2. Make sure your spouse is on the same page.

3. Talk to your kids. Make sure they understand and (I hope) agree. As they age and mature, it's more "choice" than "rules." Encourage them and let them make it their own decision.

Grace Bunch
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.