Santa gets stuck in tube during chimney practice-run
Santa Claus was rushed from his North Pole home to a hospital in Boston last night after a pre-Christmas exercise class went terribly wrong.
According to inside sources, Santa was completing his annual fitness test and obstacle course and while attempting the faux-chimney entrance, he got stuck in the 9-metre PVC pipe that served as a makeshift chimney.
“I guess the big guy had a few too many plates of milk and cookies this year,” said mrs. Claus. “He's been on a strict diet because of his cholesterol, but those tricky little elves must have been sneaking him desserts.
“He has such a sweet tooth!”
Santa's doctors have released a statment on the Christmas icon's condition, saying that he is recovering quite nicely from the pipe extraction, and should be able to return home tomorrow or Sunday.
Santa was available for commentsthis morning from his hospital room and expressed his desire to return home andget back to work.
“I have so much to do, and those elves are useless without me there to keep an eye on them. Santa's little helpers, my ass,” he said.
Santa will continue his heart-healthy diet, but will increase his activity level over the next month to ensure he fits down all the world's chimnies.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
According to inside sources, Santa was completing his annual fitness test and obstacle course and while attempting the faux-chimney entrance, he got stuck in the 9-metre PVC pipe that served as a makeshift chimney.
“I guess the big guy had a few too many plates of milk and cookies this year,” said mrs. Claus. “He's been on a strict diet because of his cholesterol, but those tricky little elves must have been sneaking him desserts.
“He has such a sweet tooth!”
Santa's doctors have released a statment on the Christmas icon's condition, saying that he is recovering quite nicely from the pipe extraction, and should be able to return home tomorrow or Sunday.
Santa was available for commentsthis morning from his hospital room and expressed his desire to return home andget back to work.
“I have so much to do, and those elves are useless without me there to keep an eye on them. Santa's little helpers, my ass,” he said.
Santa will continue his heart-healthy diet, but will increase his activity level over the next month to ensure he fits down all the world's chimnies.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
