Keeping private blogs private will ward off lovers quarrels

Dear Ms. Guidance,
I have been with my boy for a few months now and things are going pretty well, but recently something happened that I think will probably be the end of things. The other day I was venting about something he had done on my online journal. I wasn't saying anything horrible, just that he had done something that made me unhappy, so I wrote about it and then got over it. Then my boyfriend found my journal online, read it, and got really mad at me. I think I should be mad because he invaded my privacy. Does he have a right to be mad at me? Should I be mad at him? What should I do?
~Ostensibly online


Last time I checked the internet was a public domain. A very, very weak case could be made that your boyfriend should have told you that he found your blog and informed you that he was going to read it prior to doing so. More realistically however, you have no right to be mad at him as anyone with an internet connection could happen upon your journal and read it if you don't make it private. The fact that you are writing things in a public forum about your boyfriend that you do not want him to see is just asking for trouble. You are to blame for this mess, and I think your boyfriend does have a right to be a little perturbed. No one likes confrontation, and heated discussions with loved ones are certainly never comfortable, but it is essential to talk out problems or they will only fester which often results in a messy break-up. Of course not every little indiscretion or lovers quarrel needs to turn into an hour-long dialogue, so keeping a private journal to vent about these problems privately surely helps. But please note the word PRIVATE. Most of the time when you are mad at your partner, the problem lies with you and not them, so writing these things down to work through them yourself is quite helpful. However, doing so on the Internet as opposed to in a private journal for your eyes only seems to be a ploy to be dramatic without confrontation. The fact that your boyfriend had to read what you think of him and your relationship in a public online journal he stumbled upon instead of hearing it from you angers even me, I can only imagine how he feels right now. Not to mention the possible embarrassment factor involved with being smeared publicly without any opportunity for rebuttal. This does not necessarily spell break-up, but some damage control needs to be done. Now, more than ever, it is time to discuss not only the issue at hand, but the situation you wrote about in your journal. Sit down with your boyfriend, explain that you just needed to vent briefly as it was your issue and you didn't feel the need to involve him at the time. Having said this, you will of course stop writing about him in your journal, and vow to discuss any problems you have in future with him or at least keep them out of the public sector. (Or at the very least change your journal setting to private).

Dear Ms. Guidance,
I am writer and I have been sending my work to literary magazines and publishers aggressively for about a year to no avail. I am wondering if you have any suggestions for a struggling writer in regards to how to get published…or paid.
~Tried and Denied


Publish yourself! All it takes to put out a collection of your own is about $50-$70 dollars in start up capital, a photocopier and some creativity. You obviously already have the writing, so compile it in your own book and have control over every step of the process. It is surprisingly easy to find stores in town who will put your book for sale on the edge of their counter. Ask pretty much any independent owner and I am sure they will be happy to carry the book. Selling them at $5-$7 a pop will recover your production as well as distribution costs and leave you with a little something for yourself. Sell enough of them and you have beer money for the month! Always remember to be very inventive with your cover design; bright and eye catching will sell more copies. Also, always include contact information for yourself so that people can tell you how great the book was and request a follow up release. Otherwise, the sky is the limit! There are literally hundreds of zine distributors on the internet who are in the business of distributing self publications for a small cut of the profits. Going this route will get your masterpiece out into the world via the Internet, and with a worldwide release, who knows who will pick up a copy of your collection? Never let rejection letters from big-time publication companies and journals stand in the way of seeing your writing in print. Do-it-yourself publication allows you to realize your dreams and completely on your own terms.

For more info on DIY publishing or if you have you need to be Ms.Guided email Ms. Guidance at ms.guidance@gmail.com!