Law Talk: How to negotiate

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.
- John F. Kennedy
Inaugural Address, 1961.


It happens every time you need someone to agree with you or to do anything for you or to tell him to move away, and then you are in a negotiation process. You negotiate all the time and you often never realize that.

Negotiating is the art of getting what you want from someone who has the power to give it to you. It is easy to confuse negotiating with compromising on principles. Negotiation does involve compromise. Unless you can get the decision maker to want exactly what you want, you will have to compromise — if you want to win anything at all. But you don't have to compromise your principles.

Although there are many approaches to negotiations, one of the most popular is the “Getting to YES” model, which was developed at Harvard University. “Getting to YES” is based on the concept that negotiating can result in a win-win for all involved, and outlines steps to aid in such negotiations.

Don't bargain over positions
Arguing over position produces unwise agreements. When more attention is paid to positions, less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying needs of those involved. Positions are part of human nature, and tend not to be flexible unless one party folds and accepts loosing. Not only can this prevent a settlement, it can also have long-term effects on the relationship between the parties involved.

Separate people from the problem
Negotiators are people first, and a good negotiator will attempt to uncover personal interests driving decisions. Don't be afraid to put yourself in the other person's shoes. The other negotiator is a human being with emotions and is not the problem, but the one who will help solve the real problem.

Focus on interests, not positions
Interests define the problem, not positions. By arguing positions one person will be forced to retreat, and for many people this is a hard thing to do. Underlying interests, however, may be common between the parties and allow for a way to come to an agreement without compromising personal ego. Ask questions like “why?” and “why not?”, and think about their answers. By identifying shared interests there's a greater chance for mutual gain.

Remembering these points will not only help reach a negotiated agreement, but will help the process be more efficient, effective, and win-win.

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