Keggers just don't stack up
What’s a perfect party?
Considering I’ve been working in the bar industry for the last 10 years, I would say I’m more than qualified to give my opinion on how to have the “Perfect Party.” While living the life has given me insight and provided plenty of interesting stories, it has also taught me that when it comes to house parties, keggers are out.
Here are the liquid facts when it comes to kegs:
- The average keg is 60L or 50L for imports and 30L for mini kegs. Inexperience handling and pouring with rented equipment may cause over 15L of spillage per keg. That’s 25 per cent down the drain, under the patio or on the driveway.
- A keg needs to sit for a minimum of three-to-four hours in a cold place to settle and left undisturbed until you are ready to pour. If not stored in temperatures above 18°C, a keg will need to settle for eight hours and that’s even before the party begins.
- When the keg is tapped my least favorite move is the shake test. “How much beer is left in the keg?” Let’s shake it up to find out and waste some more beer.
Bars spend more than $50,000 on equipment alone to reduce their waste, and there’s still no perfect formula. The $50 rental pump (that actually costs $25) just doesn’t do the trick. As for keeping the beer fresh, I don’t enjoy people licking the rim of my cup, so I really don’t like my beer out of a spigot that may have been in a drunk’s mouth, not properly cleaned, handled or dropped on the ground.
Still want to host a keg party? Who’s watching the taps? More importantly, who’s watching the kegs?
Full kegs are heavy and hard to move, but I’ve heard many-a-horror-story about empty kegs being stolen at parties. Kegs look so much like the Stanley Cup; it’s no wonder people love to lift over them over their head when they’re empty. But remember; for each stolen or damaged keg you’re out $50.
It’s a known fact that local police monitor Facebook and Myspace trolling for tips to the latest party, so if they pay you a visit and they think you’re selling tickets, wristbands or trying to make money off of this party they will confiscate your kegs and pump; then you’re out everything...plus the fines, possible criminal records and court costs.
Kegs at your house party may be a novelty, but they’re also a major liability. If the beer runs out, you’re screwed. If you order too much, that last keg that you tapped has about 30 hours before it’s toast (if kept cold). You’ve also got to keep a close eye on who’s drinking your beer, and who’s allowed and if you invest in the best equipment you’d better keep an eye on it. If you don’t have a truck or proper vehicle, have fun getting it home (and back). You’re required to pay in advance, around $200 per keg plus pump rental, plastic cups, ice and bins to keep them cold. All of these extras can lead to one costly event, especially if your party is ended early. As the purchaser, it also puts the responsibility (and therefore the fines/charges/complaints/etc.) 100 per cent on your shoulders.
I suggest that you ask everyone to bring cans. The six and 12-packs are easy to carry around, the empties can still be returned and are easier to transport than bottles, there’s little waste (unless you can’t find that beer you just set down) and possibly profitable...there’s nothing better than waking up late the next morning to find some full cans you can save for the next party and everyone else’s empties you can throw in a plastic bag and return for cash.
So, instead of a serious back injury from trying to lift what you thought was an empty keg over your head, you just have to explain the big, round bruise on your forehead.
Considering I’ve been working in the bar industry for the last 10 years, I would say I’m more than qualified to give my opinion on how to have the “Perfect Party.” While living the life has given me insight and provided plenty of interesting stories, it has also taught me that when it comes to house parties, keggers are out.
Here are the liquid facts when it comes to kegs:
- The average keg is 60L or 50L for imports and 30L for mini kegs. Inexperience handling and pouring with rented equipment may cause over 15L of spillage per keg. That’s 25 per cent down the drain, under the patio or on the driveway.
- A keg needs to sit for a minimum of three-to-four hours in a cold place to settle and left undisturbed until you are ready to pour. If not stored in temperatures above 18°C, a keg will need to settle for eight hours and that’s even before the party begins.
- When the keg is tapped my least favorite move is the shake test. “How much beer is left in the keg?” Let’s shake it up to find out and waste some more beer.
Bars spend more than $50,000 on equipment alone to reduce their waste, and there’s still no perfect formula. The $50 rental pump (that actually costs $25) just doesn’t do the trick. As for keeping the beer fresh, I don’t enjoy people licking the rim of my cup, so I really don’t like my beer out of a spigot that may have been in a drunk’s mouth, not properly cleaned, handled or dropped on the ground.
Still want to host a keg party? Who’s watching the taps? More importantly, who’s watching the kegs?
Full kegs are heavy and hard to move, but I’ve heard many-a-horror-story about empty kegs being stolen at parties. Kegs look so much like the Stanley Cup; it’s no wonder people love to lift over them over their head when they’re empty. But remember; for each stolen or damaged keg you’re out $50.
It’s a known fact that local police monitor Facebook and Myspace trolling for tips to the latest party, so if they pay you a visit and they think you’re selling tickets, wristbands or trying to make money off of this party they will confiscate your kegs and pump; then you’re out everything...plus the fines, possible criminal records and court costs.
Kegs at your house party may be a novelty, but they’re also a major liability. If the beer runs out, you’re screwed. If you order too much, that last keg that you tapped has about 30 hours before it’s toast (if kept cold). You’ve also got to keep a close eye on who’s drinking your beer, and who’s allowed and if you invest in the best equipment you’d better keep an eye on it. If you don’t have a truck or proper vehicle, have fun getting it home (and back). You’re required to pay in advance, around $200 per keg plus pump rental, plastic cups, ice and bins to keep them cold. All of these extras can lead to one costly event, especially if your party is ended early. As the purchaser, it also puts the responsibility (and therefore the fines/charges/complaints/etc.) 100 per cent on your shoulders.
I suggest that you ask everyone to bring cans. The six and 12-packs are easy to carry around, the empties can still be returned and are easier to transport than bottles, there’s little waste (unless you can’t find that beer you just set down) and possibly profitable...there’s nothing better than waking up late the next morning to find some full cans you can save for the next party and everyone else’s empties you can throw in a plastic bag and return for cash.
So, instead of a serious back injury from trying to lift what you thought was an empty keg over your head, you just have to explain the big, round bruise on your forehead.
