Relgious leaders slam latest gaming offer
Hasbro's latest video game, The Devil Made Me Do It, being offered up on XBox, Playstation 3, computers, and surprisingly Nintendo has global religious leaders up in arms.
The premise of the new game is that the player controls the Devil as he stalks the earth in search of the souls of the righteous, has been condemned as immoral, sacrilegious and completely unplayable.
“We consider the content of this game to be completely unacceptable,” read the Archbishop of Rome, in a prepared statement along with the Dali Lama, The Bishop of Canterbury, Hindu and Sikh leaders, and Tom Cruise representing the Church of Scientology.
“This product requires the player to identify with the character of Satan himself. This is not only completely contrary to teachings, but sends out a dangerous message to impressionable youngsters about the basic difference between good and evil.
“Plus, the collision detection is crap: You can stab the nuns on level one right in the face with the flaming trident and half the time they don't take any damage. Nor can you make them get naked. It's shit.
“And the controls are crap too: Like at the end of level four, where you have to kill St Francis of Assisi with the cattle prod. You have to press up and square at the same time, but if you get it wrong you end up just hitting up and jumping straight at him, losing valuable health points. Why couldn't they have just made it triangle to fire the cattle prod? It would have been loads better. Triangle normally fires hell-fire, but you don't have that after level two anyway.”
The group went on to call for the game to be banned, as well as asking games developers to consider the ethical implications of their products before releasing them for public consumption.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
The premise of the new game is that the player controls the Devil as he stalks the earth in search of the souls of the righteous, has been condemned as immoral, sacrilegious and completely unplayable.
“We consider the content of this game to be completely unacceptable,” read the Archbishop of Rome, in a prepared statement along with the Dali Lama, The Bishop of Canterbury, Hindu and Sikh leaders, and Tom Cruise representing the Church of Scientology.
“This product requires the player to identify with the character of Satan himself. This is not only completely contrary to teachings, but sends out a dangerous message to impressionable youngsters about the basic difference between good and evil.
“Plus, the collision detection is crap: You can stab the nuns on level one right in the face with the flaming trident and half the time they don't take any damage. Nor can you make them get naked. It's shit.
“And the controls are crap too: Like at the end of level four, where you have to kill St Francis of Assisi with the cattle prod. You have to press up and square at the same time, but if you get it wrong you end up just hitting up and jumping straight at him, losing valuable health points. Why couldn't they have just made it triangle to fire the cattle prod? It would have been loads better. Triangle normally fires hell-fire, but you don't have that after level two anyway.”
The group went on to call for the game to be banned, as well as asking games developers to consider the ethical implications of their products before releasing them for public consumption.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
