Wacky Michael Jackson made a shocking appearance at the studios of VH1, unveiling his newest look. Jackson confided that he always wanted to be a woman, and since he couldn't have any further surgeries on his nose and his music career was failing, he decided to take the plunge. Even more bizarre, Jackson stated: “It is my hope that when all the procedures are done that I will be able to copulate with my self and have my own child. I also will be reopening Neverland for young adolescent boys to stay over night with me for sleepovers in my own bed and wine drinking. This is an exciting time in my life.”


Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.