All she wants for Christmas...
Hey Fanshawe Students...
We are getting close to that time again.... You know what time I mean...
It is that time of the year when all of your OSAP is gone and you're expected to buy gifts for people. It's the wonderful and stressful time of Christmas.
Wonderful because you don't need to worry about school, you can go back home and raid your parents fridge, do your laundry for free, sleep in until supper time the next day, eat peanuts and cookies like they're going out of style, and of course, hopefully unwrap that one thing you have been dreaming about for weeks.
It's also a stressful time because you have to make sure that you buy good enough gifts for everyone and try not to forget anybody. So this is when most guys spend a large amount of time unwillingly in the mall, wandering around aimlessly on Christmas Eve, hoping that the shopping will take care of its self. Which is why I have decided to give some advice to the guys out there about what to buy your girlfriends for Christmas, because trust me... most of us need it.
1) Clothes are not a good idea... She already has clothes. Trust me when I say that she won't like what you buy. My girlfriend did not like the Metallica shirt that I bought her.
2) Sex does not sell. We are men. We are not sexy. So take back the Marvin Gaye CD and the thong that you bought to wear for her on Christmas night. You will make her sick.
3) You can buy her a watch, or earrings or some flashy jewelry... but remember, so did every other boyfriend that she had in high school.
4) Don't make her a compilation CD of Michael Bolton songs. Michael Bolton sucks... everyone knows that.
5) Mixed tapes are still in. She will think of you as the “sensitive guy.” But remember, if you choose to make a mixed tape full of corny love songs, you will have to listen to those terrible songs over and over when you two are together. She might even cry. Then what are you supposed to do?
6) The “Promise Ring.” Okay fellas. Great Idea. But remember, this is a promise. You're supposed to keep those, so think about it long and hard before you buy it.
7) Take her somewhere. This is a good idea, but it takes a lot of planning. You can't take her to A&W like they did in the 50's. You would get slapped for that now. You have to take her somewhere romantic. Somewhere with waterfalls, wild horses and shooting stars. Those things don't exist behind the local factory that you're used to taking her, so do some research first.
8) Talk to her. Maybe even listen sometimes. This does not count as a gift, but it might be a good way to find out what she wants.
My advice to girls is simple.
1) Tell us what you want so we don't go buy you a power drill and the new Transformers movie.
I hope this advice works for some of you. There may be girls out there that love the things that I just told you not to buy. Keep in mind that I am not a ‘Doctor of Christmas'. This is just what I have learnt over the years.
Fanshawe, I wish you all a great holiday that is full of fantastic food, loving company and good times. Enjoy your break.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
We are getting close to that time again.... You know what time I mean...
It is that time of the year when all of your OSAP is gone and you're expected to buy gifts for people. It's the wonderful and stressful time of Christmas.
Wonderful because you don't need to worry about school, you can go back home and raid your parents fridge, do your laundry for free, sleep in until supper time the next day, eat peanuts and cookies like they're going out of style, and of course, hopefully unwrap that one thing you have been dreaming about for weeks.
It's also a stressful time because you have to make sure that you buy good enough gifts for everyone and try not to forget anybody. So this is when most guys spend a large amount of time unwillingly in the mall, wandering around aimlessly on Christmas Eve, hoping that the shopping will take care of its self. Which is why I have decided to give some advice to the guys out there about what to buy your girlfriends for Christmas, because trust me... most of us need it.
1) Clothes are not a good idea... She already has clothes. Trust me when I say that she won't like what you buy. My girlfriend did not like the Metallica shirt that I bought her.
2) Sex does not sell. We are men. We are not sexy. So take back the Marvin Gaye CD and the thong that you bought to wear for her on Christmas night. You will make her sick.
3) You can buy her a watch, or earrings or some flashy jewelry... but remember, so did every other boyfriend that she had in high school.
4) Don't make her a compilation CD of Michael Bolton songs. Michael Bolton sucks... everyone knows that.
5) Mixed tapes are still in. She will think of you as the “sensitive guy.” But remember, if you choose to make a mixed tape full of corny love songs, you will have to listen to those terrible songs over and over when you two are together. She might even cry. Then what are you supposed to do?
6) The “Promise Ring.” Okay fellas. Great Idea. But remember, this is a promise. You're supposed to keep those, so think about it long and hard before you buy it.
7) Take her somewhere. This is a good idea, but it takes a lot of planning. You can't take her to A&W like they did in the 50's. You would get slapped for that now. You have to take her somewhere romantic. Somewhere with waterfalls, wild horses and shooting stars. Those things don't exist behind the local factory that you're used to taking her, so do some research first.
8) Talk to her. Maybe even listen sometimes. This does not count as a gift, but it might be a good way to find out what she wants.
My advice to girls is simple.
1) Tell us what you want so we don't go buy you a power drill and the new Transformers movie.
I hope this advice works for some of you. There may be girls out there that love the things that I just told you not to buy. Keep in mind that I am not a ‘Doctor of Christmas'. This is just what I have learnt over the years.
Fanshawe, I wish you all a great holiday that is full of fantastic food, loving company and good times. Enjoy your break.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
