Spoiled candidate elated with strong election finish
Despite not winning a seat on the recent Fanshawe Student Union executive elections, the candidate officially known as Spoiled was deliriously happy after edging out a candidate in the category of VP External.
“Normally I finish dead last every year,” said Spoiled, who's gender remains in question. “I ran a hard campaign as I always do. I really didn't expect this result. This is really a shot of confidence for me.”
The official results for the position of VP External were:
ERTEN, Arif 399
BERNARD, Tamara 370
PATTERSON, Jairus 323
SPOILED 130
MILCZARCZYK, Ben 129
The thing that is most intriguing about Spoiled is the single name identity that conjures up images of Brazilian soccer stars like Pele, Zico, Ronaldo and Ronaldhino, or baseball's Ichiro or the Babe. The single name also resonates with the look at me I'm supercool and look hot crowd like Gisele, Angelina, Madonna and Bono.
“Oh I don't put myself in that same class of person,” said an almost humble Spoiled. “Though my friends think I'm cool, and people do say I look hot. I guess on second thought the single name thing happening for me may have just been enough to beat out my most worthy of opponents (Milczarcyk). I'm still numb from not finishing last. Especially being able to beat out a guy known as Polish Power. He also had those clever everyone needs some Polish sausage or something like it posters.”
As for Milczarcyk repeated calls for comment went unreturned. Some investigating by Distorter staff revealed that Milczarcyk may have left the country and gone back to Poland on the heels of this embarrassing electoral defeat.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
“Normally I finish dead last every year,” said Spoiled, who's gender remains in question. “I ran a hard campaign as I always do. I really didn't expect this result. This is really a shot of confidence for me.”
The official results for the position of VP External were:
ERTEN, Arif 399
BERNARD, Tamara 370
PATTERSON, Jairus 323
SPOILED 130
MILCZARCZYK, Ben 129
The thing that is most intriguing about Spoiled is the single name identity that conjures up images of Brazilian soccer stars like Pele, Zico, Ronaldo and Ronaldhino, or baseball's Ichiro or the Babe. The single name also resonates with the look at me I'm supercool and look hot crowd like Gisele, Angelina, Madonna and Bono.
“Oh I don't put myself in that same class of person,” said an almost humble Spoiled. “Though my friends think I'm cool, and people do say I look hot. I guess on second thought the single name thing happening for me may have just been enough to beat out my most worthy of opponents (Milczarcyk). I'm still numb from not finishing last. Especially being able to beat out a guy known as Polish Power. He also had those clever everyone needs some Polish sausage or something like it posters.”
As for Milczarcyk repeated calls for comment went unreturned. Some investigating by Distorter staff revealed that Milczarcyk may have left the country and gone back to Poland on the heels of this embarrassing electoral defeat.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
