College approves military manoeuvres for campus
Yes Fanshawe students, those are tanks rumbling about on campus this week.
In an effort to improve relations with the Canadian military due to an unfortunate incident a month ago when protesters descended upon a Canadian military recruiting booth at a career fair, the college has decided to allow the military to conduct manoeuvres on campus this week.
“We're an institution that prides itself on being bland so this is really a risky step for us,” said a college spokesperson. “Even though we always want to appear we're neutral on matters, the reality is totally different. We've sold our college's soul to Coca Cola and other companies like it for large piles of cash. Getting involved with the military in a mutually beneficial relationship and was an easy step for us. In a post 9-11world it is important to have the military on your side.”
But the question lingers how the presence of the military will benefit students?
“Benefitting students is the least of our concern,” said the spokesperson laughing out loud. “We're the college, we will do as we see fit.”
There remains an underlying feeling that the push to have the military on campus is a move to continue a confrontation with members of The Social Justice Club. The prevailing thought is the club will protest again and that the students, college and military will have a confrontation similar to what happened in Tiananmen Square in China several years ago when thousands of students were killed protesting the government.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
In an effort to improve relations with the Canadian military due to an unfortunate incident a month ago when protesters descended upon a Canadian military recruiting booth at a career fair, the college has decided to allow the military to conduct manoeuvres on campus this week.
“We're an institution that prides itself on being bland so this is really a risky step for us,” said a college spokesperson. “Even though we always want to appear we're neutral on matters, the reality is totally different. We've sold our college's soul to Coca Cola and other companies like it for large piles of cash. Getting involved with the military in a mutually beneficial relationship and was an easy step for us. In a post 9-11world it is important to have the military on your side.”
But the question lingers how the presence of the military will benefit students?
“Benefitting students is the least of our concern,” said the spokesperson laughing out loud. “We're the college, we will do as we see fit.”
There remains an underlying feeling that the push to have the military on campus is a move to continue a confrontation with members of The Social Justice Club. The prevailing thought is the club will protest again and that the students, college and military will have a confrontation similar to what happened in Tiananmen Square in China several years ago when thousands of students were killed protesting the government.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
