Ask the Sex Doc: Lick-liping tips for lack luster libido
Dear Sex Doc;
My husband and I have been married for three years and a year ago had the cutest little boy. Since then I've had many things happen in my life and to make a long story short, I have zero libido! Help! Please help! Mentally I'm there and I still find him very attractive, but there is no desire to have sex. Is there a pill or something I could take/do that would increase my testosterone levels? Please help me.
Zero Sex Drive @ UNBSJ
Dear Zero Sex Drive @ UNBSJ;
You're really not alone. Most women don't feel like hopping from the delivery room to the bedroom. I mean, who would feel like inserting a six-inch object in when a 20” baby just came out?
As you are probably aware Zero Sex Drive, there are many things that affect a woman's sex life after childbirth. Shortly after delivery the vaginal tissues are bruised and sometimes torn. If a woman needs stitches or an episiotomy the entire vulva will be out of commission for some time.
A woman's hormones will most likely be out of whack too. After childbirth, hormonal changes often result in less vaginal lubrication, making his dick feel like it's made of sandpaper. And, breastfeeding can make the vagina dry up in a hurry too.
Most often women are exhausted not only from the delivery, but parenting as well. The emotional stress of parenting, whether this is their first or tenth child, can be overwhelming.
Zero Sex Drive, I don't know about you, but most women I talk to after giving birth don't feel too shit hot about their bodies. And, we all know how body image can affect what happens between the sheets.
As I have mentioned in previous articles, sex drive is based on the amount of testosterone in an individual's body. Post-delivery testosterone levels usually return to normal about two months after delivery. However, it can take up to one year. Perhaps this is what is happening in your case.
You might notice your horniness factor surging back any day now. If it doesn't return soon (and it is still bothering you and/or your husband), I would seek recommend checking with your physician.
Your doctor could put you on a testosterone gel or patch, which should get the sexual juices flowing once again. But before that, I would suggest trying products that contain L-Arginine. L-Arginine is an amino acid that has been found to improve sex drive.
You can find horny booster pills that contain it, but I'm not fond of herbal medications that promise to turn you into a sexual dynamo overnight. I usually recommend O'My Clitoral Stimulating Gel. Not only does it boost sexual desire, but it's like giving your clit speed.
It generally takes time for a women's interest in sex to come back after having a baby. I would suggest you talk to your husband (if you haven't done so already) about how you are feeling. I've done many workshops with new dads and most men completely understand that their honey will be on a sexual hiatus for some time.
And Zero Sex Drive, when those tingly feelings in your genitals return, don't be too quick to sit on his dick. Spend more time licking, sucking and slurping your way to intercourse. Use plenty of lubricant and try different positions that make sex easier for you.
Dear Sex Doc;
I am a huge fan of fondling breasts and have often wondered why I am so fascinated with them. Do you have any idea why men like to stroke the ladies boobies?
Joe Fondler @ Macewan
Dear Joe Fondler @ Macewan;
Golly, fascinated with titties? I've never heard of such perversion! Excuse me Joe Fondler, but have you ever asked any of your buddies if they've got a thing for boobs too?
I'd guess that pretty well every one of your straight guy friends (and most of your gay friends too) would tell you they love the boobies.
There are plenty of reasons guys like tits. Nipples are directly connected to a woman's genital nervous system. In fact, women can have breast orgasms. In one study of 213 women, 29 per cent had experienced boob bliss at one time or another.
But Joe Fondler, the main reason you (and most other dudes) like breasts is because in westernized cultures, boobs are sexualized. That is, in our society women must cover their breasts in public because they are seen as a sexual body part.
In many cultures, breasts are not sexualized. Mammary glands are seen strictly as a biological tool to feed babies essential nutrients they need to survive.
Now Joe, if you were to tell me you were obsessed with boobs, that you had to fondle them or you wouldn't be able to get off, my diagnosis would be that you've got a breast fetish.
However Joe, you sound about as normal as any other guy out there who enjoys giving a girl's boobs a rub down.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
My husband and I have been married for three years and a year ago had the cutest little boy. Since then I've had many things happen in my life and to make a long story short, I have zero libido! Help! Please help! Mentally I'm there and I still find him very attractive, but there is no desire to have sex. Is there a pill or something I could take/do that would increase my testosterone levels? Please help me.
Zero Sex Drive @ UNBSJ
Dear Zero Sex Drive @ UNBSJ;
You're really not alone. Most women don't feel like hopping from the delivery room to the bedroom. I mean, who would feel like inserting a six-inch object in when a 20” baby just came out?
As you are probably aware Zero Sex Drive, there are many things that affect a woman's sex life after childbirth. Shortly after delivery the vaginal tissues are bruised and sometimes torn. If a woman needs stitches or an episiotomy the entire vulva will be out of commission for some time.
A woman's hormones will most likely be out of whack too. After childbirth, hormonal changes often result in less vaginal lubrication, making his dick feel like it's made of sandpaper. And, breastfeeding can make the vagina dry up in a hurry too.
Most often women are exhausted not only from the delivery, but parenting as well. The emotional stress of parenting, whether this is their first or tenth child, can be overwhelming.
Zero Sex Drive, I don't know about you, but most women I talk to after giving birth don't feel too shit hot about their bodies. And, we all know how body image can affect what happens between the sheets.
As I have mentioned in previous articles, sex drive is based on the amount of testosterone in an individual's body. Post-delivery testosterone levels usually return to normal about two months after delivery. However, it can take up to one year. Perhaps this is what is happening in your case.
You might notice your horniness factor surging back any day now. If it doesn't return soon (and it is still bothering you and/or your husband), I would seek recommend checking with your physician.
Your doctor could put you on a testosterone gel or patch, which should get the sexual juices flowing once again. But before that, I would suggest trying products that contain L-Arginine. L-Arginine is an amino acid that has been found to improve sex drive.
You can find horny booster pills that contain it, but I'm not fond of herbal medications that promise to turn you into a sexual dynamo overnight. I usually recommend O'My Clitoral Stimulating Gel. Not only does it boost sexual desire, but it's like giving your clit speed.
It generally takes time for a women's interest in sex to come back after having a baby. I would suggest you talk to your husband (if you haven't done so already) about how you are feeling. I've done many workshops with new dads and most men completely understand that their honey will be on a sexual hiatus for some time.
And Zero Sex Drive, when those tingly feelings in your genitals return, don't be too quick to sit on his dick. Spend more time licking, sucking and slurping your way to intercourse. Use plenty of lubricant and try different positions that make sex easier for you.
Dear Sex Doc;
I am a huge fan of fondling breasts and have often wondered why I am so fascinated with them. Do you have any idea why men like to stroke the ladies boobies?
Joe Fondler @ Macewan
Dear Joe Fondler @ Macewan;
Golly, fascinated with titties? I've never heard of such perversion! Excuse me Joe Fondler, but have you ever asked any of your buddies if they've got a thing for boobs too?
I'd guess that pretty well every one of your straight guy friends (and most of your gay friends too) would tell you they love the boobies.
There are plenty of reasons guys like tits. Nipples are directly connected to a woman's genital nervous system. In fact, women can have breast orgasms. In one study of 213 women, 29 per cent had experienced boob bliss at one time or another.
But Joe Fondler, the main reason you (and most other dudes) like breasts is because in westernized cultures, boobs are sexualized. That is, in our society women must cover their breasts in public because they are seen as a sexual body part.
In many cultures, breasts are not sexualized. Mammary glands are seen strictly as a biological tool to feed babies essential nutrients they need to survive.
Now Joe, if you were to tell me you were obsessed with boobs, that you had to fondle them or you wouldn't be able to get off, my diagnosis would be that you've got a breast fetish.
However Joe, you sound about as normal as any other guy out there who enjoys giving a girl's boobs a rub down.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
