What, Me Worry?: Breaking down the budget
So the Federal Budget was announced last week, as doe-eyed politicians stand with dirty faces, with bowl in hand to ask, “please, Sir, I want some more…” What does it mean for us desperate youth? Well, not a whole lot really, but what did you expect?
Basically the budget was distributed across the provinces as a sort of help yourself smorgasbord playing into the hands of potential voters by offering something that will shut most parties up sufficiently until after the next potential elections. Who, after all, wants to be the one to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth?
The bones, as they were tossed our way, were spotted with the greying flesh that Canadians have become accustomed to begging for in this political system. The Globe and Mail appropriately referred to it as a “grab bag of initiatives,” obviously designed to appease voters.
For Students: the budget includes a pledge for $800 million, aimed at higher education systems. Of course that money isn't in the way of lower tuition fees as it should be, bringing closer my dream of abolished tuition fees, instead the money is aimed at the colleges and universities themselves, supposedly to cover the costs of lower class sizes, and to keep their buildings operating. Another $2 million is being offered over two years for a new marketing campaign to attract international students. Unfortunately of course we all know these funds will somehow get lost in road works and provincial politician's wage packets.
The Conservative (and “conservative” in all the right areas it is,) budget throws a red herring to environmentalists in the way of an incentive fee that will be charged to SUV's and sports car drivers to encourage “Soccer Moms” and Doctors everywhere to get from behind the wheel of their SUV's and Hummers respectively, and see if a smaller more fuel-efficient hybrid model will accommodate their swelled heads, inflated egos and huge asses. Of course, all the tax cuts for the rich will well pay for these fees, and keep the Conservatives target voting market quiet.
Green Party Leader Elizabeth May had this to say on the budget, “Heavy on public relations but lacking any real substance when it comes to the key issues ... There is no way this government will ever be able to deliver credible climate policy while it insists on adhering to the regressive greenhouse gas reduction targets of 45-60 per cent below 2003 levels by 2050. That translates to about 30 per cent below 1990 levels and we need to reach that by 2020. These targets are a formula for disaster.”
Now, if I was Prime Minister, or preferably Supreme Dictator because you don't deserve a democracy, well that would be a different story: I would instruct colleges and universities that if they are in such desperate need for money, they can save a bit by cancelling all those useless courses that are created as filler to beef-up programs, and offer full-time employment to teachers and professors that often have no understanding of the subject matter. This of course would cut down tuition fees by a couple hundred dollars, getting us a couple hundred dollars closer to our goal.
This of course would mean that they don't need as much of that $800 million. First of all I would take the $2 million dollars that is going into advertising fees for International Students and use it ease the burden of single mothers, who are interested in a chance to receive a secondary education, because it is initiatives like that, which will eventually rid Canada of its serious cycle of poverty by stopping it before it begins. Unfortunately, although I couldn't agree more with our country accepting international students for several reasons; I would like to see Canadian students receive the education that their taxes are paying for, and to which they are entitled first.
I would then make sure that Finance Minister “Jim Flatulence,” allocated half of this money to pay for the tuition fees of students that carried at least an 80 per cent average throughout their post-secondary education. Sorry underachievers, but if you would rather drink shit-loads, and show up to only a quarter of your classes, then I'm down with that, but take the free ride on your parent's money and not my tax dollars. Of course, by “Canadians,” I also mean our Native brethren who were once again shat on consistently, by our democratically elected Prime Minister, “Stephen Hurter” and his lackey Finance Minister “Jim Flatulence.”
In more important news, Britney Spears shaved her head, to which I declare in all seriousness; damn right Brit, stick it to the man. This is the first time I've ever come close to respecting you. Why should you fit into that (ultimately redundant,) blonde-haired, blue-eyed, unhealthy, skinny-chick cast that they have laid out for you at the risk of media crucifixion? If your hair were a person, she would be a martyr!
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
Basically the budget was distributed across the provinces as a sort of help yourself smorgasbord playing into the hands of potential voters by offering something that will shut most parties up sufficiently until after the next potential elections. Who, after all, wants to be the one to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth?
The bones, as they were tossed our way, were spotted with the greying flesh that Canadians have become accustomed to begging for in this political system. The Globe and Mail appropriately referred to it as a “grab bag of initiatives,” obviously designed to appease voters.
For Students: the budget includes a pledge for $800 million, aimed at higher education systems. Of course that money isn't in the way of lower tuition fees as it should be, bringing closer my dream of abolished tuition fees, instead the money is aimed at the colleges and universities themselves, supposedly to cover the costs of lower class sizes, and to keep their buildings operating. Another $2 million is being offered over two years for a new marketing campaign to attract international students. Unfortunately of course we all know these funds will somehow get lost in road works and provincial politician's wage packets.
The Conservative (and “conservative” in all the right areas it is,) budget throws a red herring to environmentalists in the way of an incentive fee that will be charged to SUV's and sports car drivers to encourage “Soccer Moms” and Doctors everywhere to get from behind the wheel of their SUV's and Hummers respectively, and see if a smaller more fuel-efficient hybrid model will accommodate their swelled heads, inflated egos and huge asses. Of course, all the tax cuts for the rich will well pay for these fees, and keep the Conservatives target voting market quiet.
Green Party Leader Elizabeth May had this to say on the budget, “Heavy on public relations but lacking any real substance when it comes to the key issues ... There is no way this government will ever be able to deliver credible climate policy while it insists on adhering to the regressive greenhouse gas reduction targets of 45-60 per cent below 2003 levels by 2050. That translates to about 30 per cent below 1990 levels and we need to reach that by 2020. These targets are a formula for disaster.”
Now, if I was Prime Minister, or preferably Supreme Dictator because you don't deserve a democracy, well that would be a different story: I would instruct colleges and universities that if they are in such desperate need for money, they can save a bit by cancelling all those useless courses that are created as filler to beef-up programs, and offer full-time employment to teachers and professors that often have no understanding of the subject matter. This of course would cut down tuition fees by a couple hundred dollars, getting us a couple hundred dollars closer to our goal.
This of course would mean that they don't need as much of that $800 million. First of all I would take the $2 million dollars that is going into advertising fees for International Students and use it ease the burden of single mothers, who are interested in a chance to receive a secondary education, because it is initiatives like that, which will eventually rid Canada of its serious cycle of poverty by stopping it before it begins. Unfortunately, although I couldn't agree more with our country accepting international students for several reasons; I would like to see Canadian students receive the education that their taxes are paying for, and to which they are entitled first.
I would then make sure that Finance Minister “Jim Flatulence,” allocated half of this money to pay for the tuition fees of students that carried at least an 80 per cent average throughout their post-secondary education. Sorry underachievers, but if you would rather drink shit-loads, and show up to only a quarter of your classes, then I'm down with that, but take the free ride on your parent's money and not my tax dollars. Of course, by “Canadians,” I also mean our Native brethren who were once again shat on consistently, by our democratically elected Prime Minister, “Stephen Hurter” and his lackey Finance Minister “Jim Flatulence.”
In more important news, Britney Spears shaved her head, to which I declare in all seriousness; damn right Brit, stick it to the man. This is the first time I've ever come close to respecting you. Why should you fit into that (ultimately redundant,) blonde-haired, blue-eyed, unhealthy, skinny-chick cast that they have laid out for you at the risk of media crucifixion? If your hair were a person, she would be a martyr!
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
