President's Perspective: WANTED: Complete idiot
Every girl says they are looking for a sweet guy to treat her like a princess and who she can love forever. And what do they do? They either A) go for the bad boy or B) attract the bad boy.
So this Valentine's Day, I have decided to ask for the complete opposite in hopes that I will be able to find a date that will actually be worth his weight in gold.
ABOUT ME: My name is Christine. I am 23-years-old and I work at Fanshawe College. I hold a diploma and I am almost done my degree at UWO. I have been single for about two months after being in a three-year relationship. This Valentine's, I am looking for my dream man. If you think this might be you, please read on! (Please note that my ex DID treat me like a princess, so this is SOLELY a joke article!)
ABOUT YOU: First of all, unreliability is a must. If you are the type of guy that I will never be able to count on, that will never support any of my initiatives, or will show up an hour late to our dates, then you will probably be able to get in my pants.
I also always appreciate when you say you are going to call and don't. This is really important to me. You must always promise to call and not actually do it. This falls in line with bailing at the last minute. If I plan something, especially weeks in advance, I really need you to make sure to cancel at the last possible minute. Within hours of the event is the best time. And the more money, time, and effort I had to spend on the event should be directly proportionate to how late you are bailing. (e.g. anything over $100, cancel within two-hours of the event please.)
I am also looking for a man who is going to cheat on me. I mean, why would I want you to be with only me? You only live once, so you might as well treat a girl like dirt. In fact, if you get the opportunity to hook up with one of my “friends”, don't think it might be a mistake, just go for it! Any real man would.
If and when we decide to make this a long-term relationship, I really need a man who takes me to McDonalds for our anniversary, but then doesn't even bring enough money to pay for it, so I have to shell out. And please don't bring me any gifts, or put any type of thought into recognizing this special day. On top of this, if you could always bring your bus pass I would love that, because I hate being driven around in your car. I mean, if you don't have a car, why would you shell out for at least a cab? I am thinking I should stop saying man right now, and start using boy, because what I am truly looking for, is someone who is rude and immature, such as someone who acts 12, but is really around my age.
If you really don't like your family very much, and treat your parents and siblings like garbage, this is also very attractive. I mean, who wouldn't want a guy who is rude to his support system? Keeping in mind that a boy who swears every five seconds and uses the f-word as the only adjective to describe anything positive or negative in their life also really turns me on.
The last few things I really need in a relationship are someone who is going to lie to me, isn't very funny, is pretty negative, hates kids, doesn't own a suit, showers maybe twice a week, makes fun of me and my friends and is a big baby.
This Valentine's Day I hope that I have really put myself out here and get many responses of people who fit this bill. To quote Borat here while I sum up that the above is what I want in a relationship, the only appropriate word is….. “NOT”.
So this Valentine's Day, I have decided to ask for the complete opposite in hopes that I will be able to find a date that will actually be worth his weight in gold.
ABOUT ME: My name is Christine. I am 23-years-old and I work at Fanshawe College. I hold a diploma and I am almost done my degree at UWO. I have been single for about two months after being in a three-year relationship. This Valentine's, I am looking for my dream man. If you think this might be you, please read on! (Please note that my ex DID treat me like a princess, so this is SOLELY a joke article!)
ABOUT YOU: First of all, unreliability is a must. If you are the type of guy that I will never be able to count on, that will never support any of my initiatives, or will show up an hour late to our dates, then you will probably be able to get in my pants.
I also always appreciate when you say you are going to call and don't. This is really important to me. You must always promise to call and not actually do it. This falls in line with bailing at the last minute. If I plan something, especially weeks in advance, I really need you to make sure to cancel at the last possible minute. Within hours of the event is the best time. And the more money, time, and effort I had to spend on the event should be directly proportionate to how late you are bailing. (e.g. anything over $100, cancel within two-hours of the event please.)
I am also looking for a man who is going to cheat on me. I mean, why would I want you to be with only me? You only live once, so you might as well treat a girl like dirt. In fact, if you get the opportunity to hook up with one of my “friends”, don't think it might be a mistake, just go for it! Any real man would.
If and when we decide to make this a long-term relationship, I really need a man who takes me to McDonalds for our anniversary, but then doesn't even bring enough money to pay for it, so I have to shell out. And please don't bring me any gifts, or put any type of thought into recognizing this special day. On top of this, if you could always bring your bus pass I would love that, because I hate being driven around in your car. I mean, if you don't have a car, why would you shell out for at least a cab? I am thinking I should stop saying man right now, and start using boy, because what I am truly looking for, is someone who is rude and immature, such as someone who acts 12, but is really around my age.
If you really don't like your family very much, and treat your parents and siblings like garbage, this is also very attractive. I mean, who wouldn't want a guy who is rude to his support system? Keeping in mind that a boy who swears every five seconds and uses the f-word as the only adjective to describe anything positive or negative in their life also really turns me on.
The last few things I really need in a relationship are someone who is going to lie to me, isn't very funny, is pretty negative, hates kids, doesn't own a suit, showers maybe twice a week, makes fun of me and my friends and is a big baby.
This Valentine's Day I hope that I have really put myself out here and get many responses of people who fit this bill. To quote Borat here while I sum up that the above is what I want in a relationship, the only appropriate word is….. “NOT”.
