Having fun with yourself: How to find your go-to sex toy

Ben Wa Balls (top left), The Shimmy (bottom left), The Puff (middle) and the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rechargeable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator (right) are just a few of the many sex toys available to purchase for your pleasure.

The vaginal orgasm — so elusive, it’s thought to be a “myth” by some researchers.

Let’s be clear: it does exist. It’s just not easy to reach, whether on your own or with a partner.

The male orgasm can be compared to a switch — you can turn a switch on and have the light shine straight away. In contrast, the female orgasm is an oven — it requires time to warm up and get ready. While it is possible to turn the oven on and let it warm up with a partner, we can also crank up the heat and do it ourselves.

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Masturbation and sex toys can help, but are often considered taboo among people with vaginas and masturbation and the stigma around it are rarely addressed in sex education.

Masturbation is healthy, relieves stress and can help you sleep better. It can also help you achieve orgasms with a partner with more ease

While vaginal orgasm can be harder to achieve than a non-vaginal one, these are some of the top-reviewed toys that you can use to help make the process a bit easier.

If you want clitoral masturbation

The Puff is a clitoral stimulator, which creates a sucking sensation when used. It has multiple speeds, is waterproof and is USB chargeable.

“Whether I’m in the shower or laying down in bed, the Puff always gets the job done,” user S.D. wrote on the Unbound Babes website. “Best part of 2020 for me.”

With 627 five-star reviews, the Puff has gained a cult following and is currently on backorder on Unbound.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation works by simulating oral sex. It has 11 levels of power, so beginners can work their way up. It’s also hypoallergenic and waterproof.

“Just like the legendary sword, Excalibur, this contains magical powers destined to change lives and turn ordinary men into heroes,” wrote user Her hero.

If you want vaginal masturbation

The Lovehoney Rabbit Vibrator shot into popularity after it was featured on Sex and the City. Its name comes from its distinct “rabbit-like” look for the nub, which helps pleasure the clitoris. Two motors power the vibrations of this toy, with three speeds and nine patterns of vibration. It’s quiet, waterproof and USB rechargeable.

“It is great quality, smooth and soft to touch and has a good thick size to it,” user luvlylulu wrote on Lovehoney’s website. “It’s definitely quite substantial — but cover it with your favourite lube and you’re away!”

The Adam & Eve Magic Massager Deluxe 8x wand is a footlong clitoral vibrator meant for penetration or pleasuring erogenous zones. If you’re afraid of how obvious a dildo is for pleasure, a massage wand is a little more inconspicuous.

Specifically, this massage wand from Adam & Eve has a five-year warranty and is electric powered. There’s three speeds and five patterns to change up routine. However, reviewers have found it noisier than other tools, which can be awkward if you’re living with family or roommates.

“Me and my boyfriend are currently long distance while I finish up school so I got this to help between the weeks we can’t see each other,” an anonymous poster put on the Adam & Eve website. “Wow is all I can say. Mind blowing.”

If you want to do anal

Butt plugs and anal masturbation requires more preparation than masturbation involving your vagina. Your rectum doesn’t naturally lubricate, so it’s very important for anything you do to involve lube.

The key when looking at butt plugs is to start small; don’t get something you know you can’t handle. Anal sex also requires some foreplay, so work your way up to it.

The Shimmy is a medium-sized butt plug that allows for handsfree stimulation. It’s quiet, small and with over 110 five-star reviews, popular.

“I’d rather have this up my ass right now than write this review,” user K wrote. “A little bigger than I expected, but working up to it has been half the fun.”

If you want to strengthen your vagina

Zen Q Ben Wa Balls — also known as kegel balls — help strengthen the vagina and improve its elasticity. Kegel balls are weights, which, upon insertion, allow the user to contract and release the pelvic muscles around them. These exercises help strengthen the vaginal muscles over time, which can make orgasms even stronger.

The Zen Q kegel balls come with six different weights, ranging from beginner to advanced.

“I like the fact that I can also keep them in and it gives a mild sensation with movement during my daily yoga practice,” user Jutika wrote. “They’re easy to clean and easy to carry in the pouch that’s included.”

Toys and masturbation don’t have to be daunting. But remember — everyone is different, so make sure to research what’s best for you. Happy pleasuring!