CREDIT: SARAH WATTS
Monsters of Schlock kept it crazy in Forwell Hall January 28.

Students were treated on January 28 to the “most extreme two man circus side show county magic extravaganza,” as the Monsters of Schlock explain themselves. Forwell Hall hosted Burnaby Q. Orbax and his brother Sweet Pepper Klopek make up a duo that has been set on fire, cut, had animal traps released upon and pulled weights with their eyelids to name a few feats in their repertoire.

“Well it’s a great school,” Orbax said. “We played [at Fanshawe] now for four years in a row. It’s one of the great shows of the year.”

The brothers spiced things up by adding a new variable to its Fanshawe stop.

Orbax started the night by letting a student push and pull a seven-inch nail into Orbax’s nasal cavity, followed later by Klopek having playing cards stapled to his face, chest and buttocks, only to guess the proper card each time.

“The last one here was probably the top five shows ever – it was just wild,” added Klopek.

“As soon as he walked out, he set one foot and everybody went nuts and it was jam packed in there … it’s one of those things that we like to foster a good time, and as long as the people are having fun, and we’re having fun, then that’s all we’re really looking for.”

Fanshawe’s shot at glory?

The duo attempted to break the most tables suplexed in a minute at the Fanshawe event. The record was broken when Orbax suplexed Klopek at the 58-second mark into the final eighth table.

The show is part of a larger tour across Ontario campuses where The Monsters will be breaking new records or current records they already hold.

The previous stop at Algonquin in Ottawa saw Pepper have 13 animal traps released on him in under a minute, shattering the previous record of six.

“We had raccoon traps, rabbit traps, coyote traps, mink traps, stoat traps, ferret traps,” Orbax said.

“Chinchilla,” Klopek said. “Well that’s illegal to trap chinchilla here but … we even had time to spare. We just had no more traps [for] this guy.”

Despite the ridiculous nature of their jobs, it’s not a Jackass movie for the two. They sounded more like engineers, planning for every possible mistake, every danger that could happen.

“That was one of the things – with the most mousetraps on the tongue in a minute, which was Pepper at Call The Office in [April 2014],” Orbax said. “You had to have to type of mousetrap, which is a Victor mousetrap, which is available worldwide so that you know someone in India could attempt it as well as somebody in Canada.”

It’s about planning and risk management, something Orbax liked to call his risk-to-benefit analysis.

Who could forget the duo’s never- smiling clown pushing a nail through wood with his bare hands, popping a balloon underneath – between a male student’s uncomfortable thighs? Or lifting weights with eyelids, stopping a fan with your tongue and face?

Nothing is too extreme for the brothers of Monsters Of Schlock and their Looney Tunes-style stunts.