Notes From Day Seven: An alternative to consumer weddings
I was wed in the dead of winter, but most
people opt for a warmer time of the year to
marry. It may be that you attended a wedding
ceremony this past spring or this summer
— the wedding ceremony of a family
member, a friend, or maybe your own.
Getting married can be as complicated or as simple as you would like. Ceremonies that I have led have been rehearsed to the nth degree or not at all. They have taken place in church buildings, backyards, hotels and community halls.
Like many other things, marriage has become more and more a consumer experience. Couples can go online not only to find venues, wedding attire, and caterers. As many readers will know, those planning a wedding can choose the “wedding officiant” from a list of people advertised online. Whereas in previous decades (and centuries), those wishing to be married in Canada went to their community priest, rector, pastor or minister, now they can contact any one of a number of licensed officiants.
These include not only the people just listed, but justices of the peace, municipal clerks and other marriage officiants. Their pictures and profiles are catalogued online. They are usually accompanied by declarations of their sincerity, sensitivity, openness and of their commitments to diversity and inclusiveness. They are available to meet with the prospective couple before the ceremony and will tailor the wording of the ceremony to the values and tastes of the couple. Short of their being a refund for a marriage that doesn't work out, it is hard to see how a wedding could become more of a consumer event than it is becoming for many Canadians.
We no longer live in a country where everyone assumes that weddings should take place in churches and be officiated by a nearby priest or pastor. And it is understandable — even necessary — that in a diverse society where there are people with many views of life that a number of options are available.
Nevertheless, do churches have something to offer marriage that can be of help to anyone considering marriage?
In my experience, the answer to that question is a yes. The wording I typically use for a wedding brings to the fore a number of key perspectives on marriage. First, marriage is a place in which a couple can grow in companionship, friendship, and love. Second, marriage is a setting in which sexuality can be expressed in trust and in freedom. Third, marriage offers a great context in which to bring children into the world and raise them securely. And fourth, marriage is a structure that contributes mightily to the enrichment of broader society.
Clearly, all of this is a far cry from the increasingly consumerist approach to marriage which more and more is all about “how it makes me feel.”
I would add one more thing. Oftentimes the opportunity to express a life-long commitment of love brings on feelings of wonder, of gratitude, and of joy. A wedding is an opportunity to affirm that these experiences of wonder, joy, and thankfulness are what we have been created for — and are not merely pleasant byproducts of biological processes. They are gifts from God.
Should we look for and pray for His blessing at weddings? I believe we should.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
Getting married can be as complicated or as simple as you would like. Ceremonies that I have led have been rehearsed to the nth degree or not at all. They have taken place in church buildings, backyards, hotels and community halls.
Like many other things, marriage has become more and more a consumer experience. Couples can go online not only to find venues, wedding attire, and caterers. As many readers will know, those planning a wedding can choose the “wedding officiant” from a list of people advertised online. Whereas in previous decades (and centuries), those wishing to be married in Canada went to their community priest, rector, pastor or minister, now they can contact any one of a number of licensed officiants.
These include not only the people just listed, but justices of the peace, municipal clerks and other marriage officiants. Their pictures and profiles are catalogued online. They are usually accompanied by declarations of their sincerity, sensitivity, openness and of their commitments to diversity and inclusiveness. They are available to meet with the prospective couple before the ceremony and will tailor the wording of the ceremony to the values and tastes of the couple. Short of their being a refund for a marriage that doesn't work out, it is hard to see how a wedding could become more of a consumer event than it is becoming for many Canadians.
We no longer live in a country where everyone assumes that weddings should take place in churches and be officiated by a nearby priest or pastor. And it is understandable — even necessary — that in a diverse society where there are people with many views of life that a number of options are available.
Nevertheless, do churches have something to offer marriage that can be of help to anyone considering marriage?
In my experience, the answer to that question is a yes. The wording I typically use for a wedding brings to the fore a number of key perspectives on marriage. First, marriage is a place in which a couple can grow in companionship, friendship, and love. Second, marriage is a setting in which sexuality can be expressed in trust and in freedom. Third, marriage offers a great context in which to bring children into the world and raise them securely. And fourth, marriage is a structure that contributes mightily to the enrichment of broader society.
Clearly, all of this is a far cry from the increasingly consumerist approach to marriage which more and more is all about “how it makes me feel.”
I would add one more thing. Oftentimes the opportunity to express a life-long commitment of love brings on feelings of wonder, of gratitude, and of joy. A wedding is an opportunity to affirm that these experiences of wonder, joy, and thankfulness are what we have been created for — and are not merely pleasant byproducts of biological processes. They are gifts from God.
Should we look for and pray for His blessing at weddings? I believe we should.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
