My Series of Unfortunate Events: Perils of a dark theatre

There's nothing I love more than a Friday night at the movies. The brand new Ryan Gosling movie is out; you round up your closest frenemies and spend your week's pay on a number one combo with extra butter. However, it has come to my attention that more than one awkward situation can happen when you're put in a dark room with a group of people.

If there's anything I've learned over the years, it's to never choose a seat directly in the middle of the movie theatre. Sure, you've got the best view, but chances are you will need a washroom break at least once. You haven't faced struggle until you need to silently squeeze by seven people, knocking over each and every one of their M&M bags. It doesn't help much that they've turned off the main lights and all you have to guide you are those really helpful staircase lights. On that note, watching someone trying to make their way back to their seat in a pitch-black theatre is sometimes more entertaining than the movie itself. I figure since I once fell up the stairs, I am allowed to laugh at others doing the same thing. Right?

Don't even get me started on the Sally Seat Kickers and the Tommy Texters. Those people know who they are and know what they're doing is making the Gosling film less enjoyable for everyone else (which is hard to do, mind you).

On the off chance that you and your friends walk into a fairly empty theatre, the choice is yours when it comes to seat selection. However, I find that no matter what seat I choose, the next people to walk into the theatre will feel the need to sit directly beside or in front of me. I mean, I guess I can understand. I would want to sit near me, too. If someone you don't know is sitting beside you, you are then left with the internal debate about who gets the armrest. Usually it's best to ease your way into it and just start off with a bit of elbow, just to see where they're at. At the end of the day, you're there to enjoy a movie.

Remember, though, you are not in the comfort of your own living room! I promise you it won't kill you to wait two hours to send a Snapchat.

Now take everything I've said, file it away under the “things not to do in a movie theatre” and enjoy the show!