Married to the military

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This past May, I married my best friend; six days later he told me that he wanted to join the military.

In the first days of the application process, there were a lot of questions: What job will you be doing? How long will you be gone? Will we spend more of our marriage apart than together? What will life be like as a military couple?

Luckily, my husband has a close relative who has been in the military for more than 25 years and he proved to be a wealth of information. He answered all of my husband's questions about the job, and his wife answered all my questions about the life. When both of us were satisfied with all the answers, we sat down and came to the decision together; he would begin the application process.

My initial fears of immediate change were quickly replaced with the reality of the process that is joining the Canadian Forces. Joining the military in Canada is not the same as joining in America. Here, the military is very particular about who they hire and not everyone who applies gets in — not even close. It was a long summer of waiting, uncertainty, hoping for good news and yet more waiting.

Finally in September, my husband got the call — he had been offered a job and he had a start date for his training. I felt a flood of emotions, starting with pride. It's not easy to get into the Canadian military, and I know how hard he worked to get the job. I also felt a feeling of impending dread; he would soon be leaving for more or less a year of training during which we would not be allowed to live together. More than anything, though, I was happy for him.

The weeks between his job offer and when he left for training flew by in a haze of errands, preparation and family visits. The day I drove him to the airport came all too soon. After a tearful goodbye, I drove home to begin my life as a military wife.

The first days were the hardest. I wasn't quite sure of myself, I didn't know how to do it all on my own. I'm an extremely lucky girl; all of my family and friends live in town and are unbelievably supportive. On top of that, I have a roommate who is one of my best friends, and I can always count on him to brighten my day. But it was still challenging to try and adjust to life without my husband around.

I knew then, just as I know now, that my husband won't be gone forever, but that didn't stop me from feeling at first like the separation might never end. I sometimes cried for no reason at all, other than I missed him (confession time — sometimes I still do).

Now, a little while into this military life, I have found my footing. It's not easy that he's gone, but I'm getting used to it. I'm putting more effort into doing things that I love, things for myself and having new experiences. I'm closer with my friends than I ever was before, and I'm enjoying experiencing new things all the time. I'm counting down the days until I get to see my husband again, but I'm always trying to look on the bright side of the situation. And trust me, there is more of a bright side than a dark one.

I have come to realize that I have a strength and a capacity for independence that I never knew was in me. I am growing every day, and falling more in love with my husband with each passing day we are separated. I am looking forward to every experience that a military life has to offer both of us, and most of all I am looking forward to seeing my husband again. What can I say? Men look great in uniform!