Don't squeeze
All right, guys. First thing - I'm going to get this out of the way. Apply for bursaries, seriously, I can't stress this enough. There are a good amount of them out there, and there are a couple that are completely general. Prove to us you're in financial need and we will help you. It's simple. It's FREE MONEY. That's the way it works. You people are driving me insane. Visit www.yourmoneydance.com and do it yourself, or come to the Oasis and find my Financial Marketing Team in the hallway; they'll help you, and so will I. Don't hesitate to e-mail me either.
Okay, now with that out of the way, let's talk about something more important. People who look like me. Don't think I'm just being some conceited asshole, it's just that I've noticed a lot of people comparing me to other people all the time. It's as if they're not content with me as I am; they need some sort of famous person as a reference so they can tolerate me a little bit more. Whatever.
Have you seen the “Don't Crack The Code” posters up in the halls? Pretty much everyone I know thinks I look like the guy in the middle. First of all, I would never wear a puka shell necklace to compliment my hemp bracelet and popped collar. Not to say I don't pop my collar from time-to-time, but it's definitely not my first choice in collar positioning. Beyond that, people say I look like Nick Jonas, which is flattering the sense that girls are all over him. Problem is he's only 16, and consequently attracts girls from 16 down to six. That's awesome, but I'd like to stay out of prison.
Now, I could totally continue rambling about how people have said I look like Hugh Grant, Johnny Depp, Annie Lenox, Rosie O'Donnell, but I don't feel the need to touch base on the times people mistook me for a lesbian. So let's just stop. I mean, there's more to college than identical twins. I'll try to veer out of this tangent; maybe rant about something that involves money, because that's what a VP Finance should do, right?
I've come to notice the peculiar, erratic spending habits of a lot of students. That is, tons of students go mad crazy with their money in first semester, and after doing their Christmas shopping at Value Village; the students will squeeze every penny to get through the following semester. It's unnecessary. As much as people will tell you time and again to hang on tight to your money, there has to be some happy medium in between pretending you won the lottery and being homeless. Yes, you need to be rash with you cash [clever, I know], but no student should have to subsequently diminish his or her quality of life in order to feel secure.
A lot of students have OSAP, or some line of credit. Don't you know what that means? You're squeezing pennies that aren't even yours. You're squeezing someone else's pennies. Go about your business like you earned your money, as opposed to having the government throw it at you — you'll appreciate it more — and years down the road you can start squeezing when it's actually yours to squeeze. Deliberate breast innuendo there, by the way. Enjoy that.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
Okay, now with that out of the way, let's talk about something more important. People who look like me. Don't think I'm just being some conceited asshole, it's just that I've noticed a lot of people comparing me to other people all the time. It's as if they're not content with me as I am; they need some sort of famous person as a reference so they can tolerate me a little bit more. Whatever.
Have you seen the “Don't Crack The Code” posters up in the halls? Pretty much everyone I know thinks I look like the guy in the middle. First of all, I would never wear a puka shell necklace to compliment my hemp bracelet and popped collar. Not to say I don't pop my collar from time-to-time, but it's definitely not my first choice in collar positioning. Beyond that, people say I look like Nick Jonas, which is flattering the sense that girls are all over him. Problem is he's only 16, and consequently attracts girls from 16 down to six. That's awesome, but I'd like to stay out of prison.
Now, I could totally continue rambling about how people have said I look like Hugh Grant, Johnny Depp, Annie Lenox, Rosie O'Donnell, but I don't feel the need to touch base on the times people mistook me for a lesbian. So let's just stop. I mean, there's more to college than identical twins. I'll try to veer out of this tangent; maybe rant about something that involves money, because that's what a VP Finance should do, right?
I've come to notice the peculiar, erratic spending habits of a lot of students. That is, tons of students go mad crazy with their money in first semester, and after doing their Christmas shopping at Value Village; the students will squeeze every penny to get through the following semester. It's unnecessary. As much as people will tell you time and again to hang on tight to your money, there has to be some happy medium in between pretending you won the lottery and being homeless. Yes, you need to be rash with you cash [clever, I know], but no student should have to subsequently diminish his or her quality of life in order to feel secure.
A lot of students have OSAP, or some line of credit. Don't you know what that means? You're squeezing pennies that aren't even yours. You're squeezing someone else's pennies. Go about your business like you earned your money, as opposed to having the government throw it at you — you'll appreciate it more — and years down the road you can start squeezing when it's actually yours to squeeze. Deliberate breast innuendo there, by the way. Enjoy that.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
