Ask the Sex Doc: Tickling Elmo in all the right places
Dear Sex Doc;
When I was a teenage boy I used to rub my dick on my favourite childhood teddy bear. When that got boring, I split the seams in the crotch and penetrated it. My mom found it, she must have known what I was doing with it (I think it was kind of crusty), and threw it in the trash. She never said a word about it. But, seven years later I still feel shame from that experience. Should I be so worried about this?
Stuffed Toy Stuffer @ SAIT
Dear Stuffed Toy Stuffer @ SAIT;
No, you shouldn't feel shame or guilt about this. Pumping your favourite childhood (sex) toy is more common than you might think.
Most kids have used some sort of object to masturbate with. I've heard from numerous adults who had ingenious ideas for sex toy aids when they were growing up.
One girl told me that her most beloved childhood toy was Tickle Me Elmo. She told me she was pretty well addicted to sitting on that toy. She'd watch TV, eat dinner and fall asleep on top of her vibrating Elmo. She was thankful (and lucky) to have understanding parents and rechargeable batteries.
Stuffed Toy Stuffer, it sounds like your mother might not have been that understanding. She probably should have talked to you, but that might have been awkward for both of you.
Could you imagine her holding up your cum-filled Berenstain Bear telling you that masturbation is perfectly normal and natural? Maybe she just didn't know how to talk with you about it.
Most people think that youth don't start to masturbate until they reach puberty. However, most youth masturbate as children, and some have even been found to masturbate in the womb.
Most boys aren't as creative as you Stuffed Toy Stuffer. The majority of young boys just pull it out and play with it. Young girls, however, get their kicks off in many different ways. Lots of girls will masturbate by straddling an armchair or climbing a rope. They're a little sneakier about it.
Now, if you were to tell me that you're still pumping your love into a teddy bear, I'd tell you that you have a plushie fetish. And, believe it or not Stuffed Toy Stuffer, there are adult men who are still plugging their cherished squeeze toy.
I'm not sure whether the shame you're feeling stems from the fact that you masturbated as a teen or that you used your childhood cuddle bear as a cum rag or that you were caught/embarrassed by your mother. But, be assured that what you did is not sick or perverted.
Don't worry about what you did or how you think your mom feels about it. I'm sure she knows you're not ‘sleeping' with plush toys now. And Suffed Toy Stuffer, I'm sure your mother knows ‘boys will be boys.'
Dear Sex Doc;
I have a gay male friend who just recently started to do drag. Does he want to be a woman?
Gender Confused @ Fanshawe
Dear Gender Confused @ Fanshawe;
The fact that your guy friend wants to do drag most likely has nothing to do with him wanting to become a chick.
Gay men do drag for fun and entertainment. They dress in elaborate outfits and exaggerate feminine characteristics and stereotypes.
I've heard some do it because they get more attention from men. One young gay man told me he did drag because he is sexy, confident and popular in a dress. However, when out of frock, he's called ugly and pathetic.
If your friend wanted to be a woman he would be considered transgendered or trans-identified. That is, he would think that he really should have been a she.
Studies differ, but it is estimated that up to 10 per cent of the population is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, while only one in 10,000 individuals are thought to be transgendered.
Whether your friend wants to do drag or become a woman, it shouldn't be anything for you to be concerned over. Be the most supportive friend you can to him.
And, I wouldn't doubt that (s)he could give you some pretty wicked beauty tips.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
When I was a teenage boy I used to rub my dick on my favourite childhood teddy bear. When that got boring, I split the seams in the crotch and penetrated it. My mom found it, she must have known what I was doing with it (I think it was kind of crusty), and threw it in the trash. She never said a word about it. But, seven years later I still feel shame from that experience. Should I be so worried about this?
Stuffed Toy Stuffer @ SAIT
Dear Stuffed Toy Stuffer @ SAIT;
No, you shouldn't feel shame or guilt about this. Pumping your favourite childhood (sex) toy is more common than you might think.
Most kids have used some sort of object to masturbate with. I've heard from numerous adults who had ingenious ideas for sex toy aids when they were growing up.
One girl told me that her most beloved childhood toy was Tickle Me Elmo. She told me she was pretty well addicted to sitting on that toy. She'd watch TV, eat dinner and fall asleep on top of her vibrating Elmo. She was thankful (and lucky) to have understanding parents and rechargeable batteries.
Stuffed Toy Stuffer, it sounds like your mother might not have been that understanding. She probably should have talked to you, but that might have been awkward for both of you.
Could you imagine her holding up your cum-filled Berenstain Bear telling you that masturbation is perfectly normal and natural? Maybe she just didn't know how to talk with you about it.
Most people think that youth don't start to masturbate until they reach puberty. However, most youth masturbate as children, and some have even been found to masturbate in the womb.
Most boys aren't as creative as you Stuffed Toy Stuffer. The majority of young boys just pull it out and play with it. Young girls, however, get their kicks off in many different ways. Lots of girls will masturbate by straddling an armchair or climbing a rope. They're a little sneakier about it.
Now, if you were to tell me that you're still pumping your love into a teddy bear, I'd tell you that you have a plushie fetish. And, believe it or not Stuffed Toy Stuffer, there are adult men who are still plugging their cherished squeeze toy.
I'm not sure whether the shame you're feeling stems from the fact that you masturbated as a teen or that you used your childhood cuddle bear as a cum rag or that you were caught/embarrassed by your mother. But, be assured that what you did is not sick or perverted.
Don't worry about what you did or how you think your mom feels about it. I'm sure she knows you're not ‘sleeping' with plush toys now. And Suffed Toy Stuffer, I'm sure your mother knows ‘boys will be boys.'
Dear Sex Doc;
I have a gay male friend who just recently started to do drag. Does he want to be a woman?
Gender Confused @ Fanshawe
Dear Gender Confused @ Fanshawe;
The fact that your guy friend wants to do drag most likely has nothing to do with him wanting to become a chick.
Gay men do drag for fun and entertainment. They dress in elaborate outfits and exaggerate feminine characteristics and stereotypes.
I've heard some do it because they get more attention from men. One young gay man told me he did drag because he is sexy, confident and popular in a dress. However, when out of frock, he's called ugly and pathetic.
If your friend wanted to be a woman he would be considered transgendered or trans-identified. That is, he would think that he really should have been a she.
Studies differ, but it is estimated that up to 10 per cent of the population is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, while only one in 10,000 individuals are thought to be transgendered.
Whether your friend wants to do drag or become a woman, it shouldn't be anything for you to be concerned over. Be the most supportive friend you can to him.
And, I wouldn't doubt that (s)he could give you some pretty wicked beauty tips.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
