Ask the Sex Doc: She says “no way” to the male coveted three-way
Dear Sex Doc;
My boyfriend keeps telling me he wants to have a three-way with another chick. I'm really not into this. In fact, it completely turns me off. However, I love him so much and I worry that he'll leave me if I don't comply with his wishes. Should I just do it and give him what he wants?
Three-Way No Way @ UNBSJ
Dear Three-Way No Way @ UNBSJ;
What in the hell are you thinking? You should never compromise your feelings for your boyfriend's fantasy. If you feel you'd rather eat glass than slurp on some girl's puss, then you just can't go there.
Since you say it completely turns you off, I can't see how it could turn out to be a positive experience for you, your boyfriend, or the third you two bed.
Lots of guys (and girls) have threesome fantasies, but few people are emotionally capable of seeing their partner bumping privates with someone else. Your boyfriend might say he's okay with it, but when he witnesses your thirtieth orgasm through same-sex face he might wish he'd never gone there.
Three-Way No Way, just because your partner fantasizes about doing something does not mean you are entitled to do it. You can suggest he keep his fantasy third in his mind.
And, I would be a little concerned if you think he'd leave you if you don't share his lickity stick with some chick. You might want to reevaluate how stable your relationship really is.
You should never feel compelled to go kink when you want vanilla. You need to feel safe, secure, and respected in your sexual relationship.
And Three-Way No Way, you need to voice your personal sexual boundaries to your boyfriend so he understands where you stand. He might be thinking that you'd just love to play with some gal's girly parts.
Tell your boyfriend that you're glad he feels comfortable enough to disclose his sexual wants and needs with you. Also tell him that right now a threesome is not something you see yourself wanting to engage in.
And remember Three-Way No Way (and all you other students out there), our sexuality is fluid. Just because you don't want to try something today doesn't mean that you won't get a little more adventurous in the future.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
My boyfriend keeps telling me he wants to have a three-way with another chick. I'm really not into this. In fact, it completely turns me off. However, I love him so much and I worry that he'll leave me if I don't comply with his wishes. Should I just do it and give him what he wants?
Three-Way No Way @ UNBSJ
Dear Three-Way No Way @ UNBSJ;
What in the hell are you thinking? You should never compromise your feelings for your boyfriend's fantasy. If you feel you'd rather eat glass than slurp on some girl's puss, then you just can't go there.
Since you say it completely turns you off, I can't see how it could turn out to be a positive experience for you, your boyfriend, or the third you two bed.
Lots of guys (and girls) have threesome fantasies, but few people are emotionally capable of seeing their partner bumping privates with someone else. Your boyfriend might say he's okay with it, but when he witnesses your thirtieth orgasm through same-sex face he might wish he'd never gone there.
Three-Way No Way, just because your partner fantasizes about doing something does not mean you are entitled to do it. You can suggest he keep his fantasy third in his mind.
And, I would be a little concerned if you think he'd leave you if you don't share his lickity stick with some chick. You might want to reevaluate how stable your relationship really is.
You should never feel compelled to go kink when you want vanilla. You need to feel safe, secure, and respected in your sexual relationship.
And Three-Way No Way, you need to voice your personal sexual boundaries to your boyfriend so he understands where you stand. He might be thinking that you'd just love to play with some gal's girly parts.
Tell your boyfriend that you're glad he feels comfortable enough to disclose his sexual wants and needs with you. Also tell him that right now a threesome is not something you see yourself wanting to engage in.
And remember Three-Way No Way (and all you other students out there), our sexuality is fluid. Just because you don't want to try something today doesn't mean that you won't get a little more adventurous in the future.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
