Over the years, the number of individuals who wait until marriage to have sexual relationships has decreased. That doesn’t mean there isn’t still a significant number of individuals who make the decision to wait until marriage. There are many contributing factors as to why a person may decide whether to have sex before marriage. This article looks at the pros and cons from both a religious and emotional perspective as it pertains to making this decision.

Religion

There are situations where an individual’s deciding factor can stem deeply from their religion. In some religions, sex before marriage is extremely frowned upon and can often scare people. There’s also the aspect of a person being very tied to their religion and not wanting to cross their faith.

The below highlights pros of waiting until marriage from a religious aspect:

True to faith

Individuals who are tied to a faith that emphasizes abstinence until marriage will benefit from sticking with their belief system and not going against it.

Connection building

Choosing to wait can encourage individuals to build a deeper connection with a spouse and can also allow time to potentially meet a person who shares the same belief system and morals.

Respecting religious expectations

The communities that derive from religion can have expectations on this decision and adhering to this can make individuals feel accomplished.

The below highlights cons of waiting until marriage from a religious aspect:

Pressure to not abstain

As mentioned earlier, the number of individuals who choose to abstain has decreased. With that, it can be difficult to have friends and partners encouraging you to decide on this.

Feeling left out

Knowing that either your partner or all your friends have already had sex can make it feel like you are the only one who hasn’t.

Fear of the unknown

This relates to feeling under-experienced about sex and not knowing what may or may not happen. This can also apply to education on safe sex.

Unrealistic Expectations

Waiting until marriage can instill an expectation that isn’t always met. Some may create a fantasy of what their first time will be like and can potentially result in disappointment.

Emotional

While some may choose to abstain due to religious reasons, others reasoning may root from an emotional perspective. There are occasions where individuals want to hold onto their virginity as they see this as a sacred part of life. Some may have the desire to wait until they know the person, or they may want to ensure a lifelong commitment with the person they choose.

The below highlights pros of waiting until marriage from an emotional aspect:

Connection building

Taking time to build a connection with another individual can have an appeal as opposed to not taking the time and realizing that there is no real connection there.

A sense of faithfulness

Individuals may feel that the chances of unfaithfulness or heartbreak are reduced due to waiting for the right person.

Increased self-discipline

It takes a great amount of self-discipline to abstain during times where outside pressure is prominent.

The below highlights cons of waiting until marriage from a religious aspect:

Less experience

Not having the experience and knowledge of sexual activity can be daunting for individuals especially if their partner has had more experience than them.

Strain on relationship

If the other partner is not as understanding of the choice to abstain, this can put a strain on the relationship due to sexual desires not being met.

Unrealistic expectations

Waiting can often put a narrative in a person’s mind that sex can be something that it may not actually be for them.

Feeling left out

Like the religious aspect, feeling left out can also be seen from an emotional perspective due to outside pressure.

It should be remembered that the choice of whether to have sex before or after marriage is a personal decision that should never be judged by other people. No one else needs to understand the reasoning behind what a person decides when it comes to this, and it’s strongly encouraged to be supportive of this type of decision, even if you may not agree with it.