Making it ‘amazing' in the bedroom
Dear Sex Doc;
I'm a 22-year-old heterosexual male who needs some help with my sex life. My girlfriend and I have good sex, but I want us to have amazing sex. How can we make this happen?
Not Quite Satisfied @ UBCO
Dear Not Quite Satisfied @ UBCO;
There are many ways to ensure you have a primo sex life, but the first thing you don't want to do is put too much pressure on you and your partner to be sexual dynamos. That might just cause your dick to mysteriously go on strike and cause your girl's vagina to shrivel up due to lack of arousal.
The first thing you and your woman need to do is to be comfortable in your own bodies. It's really tough to have earth-shattering sex when you're worried about your fat ass, extra roll, or itty-bitty genitals.
Remember Not Quite Satisfied, we are all unique and beautiful whether short or tall, skinny or heavy, or whether or not we fit Hollywood's mold of beautiful. Because most of us will never be Hollywood.
It is really difficult for people to let go and get down and dirty if they have body image issues. Though this is an issue that is more common for women it still affects some men. If we are always sucking in our tummy during sex it's gonna be pretty tough to rattle one off.
Besides being okay with our bodies, people need to be comfortable with sex in general to have rock'em sock'em sex. You'll each need to do some sexual soul searching to improve your overall sexual self-esteem.
Not Quite Satisfied, you can accomplish this by putting some effort into your sex life. You and your partner can read sex books or you could play games like “Embrace” or “Pillow Talk,” which are designed to do this very thing.
The next thing you'll want to do to have GuinnessTM world record sex is to learn as a couple to communicate your sexual likes and dislikes. Not Quite Satisfied, if you can't tell your girl you want to play helicopter without being embarrassed, your bedroom activities will remain stagnant. Research shows that if you and your lady can tell each other how you wanna rock their genitals your sex lives will improve.
Couples who report having great sex say they switch up their routine regularly. So Not Quite Satisfied, if your idea of good sex is getting on top of your lady, thrusting 20 or 30 times till you cum, then roll off to sleep, you'd better wake up! Great sex means trying new and exciting things.
Now Not Quite Satisfied, I'm not suggesting you let her stick a wine bottle up your ass because that's just not safe. However, if you want to play with the sexual elite you'd better learn to step up your game and try new things.
Of course there are many more sex tips that I could recommend for you and all couples to have better sex. But, start with these and you'll have a few more scratch marks on your back side.
Dear Sex Doc;
I keep hearing this term BDSM. What does it stand for? Is it something I should get into?
Kink Virgin @ SAIT
Dear Kink Virgin @ SAIT;
Okay, first of all, you'd better know what you're getting into before you jump genitals first into it. You might find yourself in a bit of an uncomfortable predicament.
BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism. Bondage deals with tying someone up. Ropes, chains, and leather straps are common materials used to fasten someone up to the bedpost.
Discipline is when bed buddies play power games with one another. Kink Virgin, you might also hear this called dominance and submission. The sub ‘bottom' submits to the commands of the dom ‘top.'
Sadomasochism or what you might know as S & M (Sadism & Masochism) involves strong physical sensations from the sadist to the masochist. A sadist likes to inflict pain on another playmate. Lucky for them, masochists like being inflicted with pain.
And Kink Virgin, BDSM is not really about sex at all. In fact, most people who engage in power play don't have sex while they're in their role. It's really about an exchange of power.
But not everyone who delves into the BDSM world is hardcore. Kink Virgin, if you've ever playfully slapped your lover's butt, you may be considered a rookie power play artist.
Now Kink Virgin, you might be thinking ‘holy crap, I'm glad I asked before I found myself bound and gagged in a cage being whipped by some leather daddy.' But, light BDSM play is not as uncommon as you might think. Many people enjoy the erotic sensations brought on by feathers, whips, and paddles.
It's cool if you want to explore these tingly feelings. But, it's your choice. And, if you do go down BDSM lane, it's best to start light with a little spanking or tie up action.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
I'm a 22-year-old heterosexual male who needs some help with my sex life. My girlfriend and I have good sex, but I want us to have amazing sex. How can we make this happen?
Not Quite Satisfied @ UBCO
Dear Not Quite Satisfied @ UBCO;
There are many ways to ensure you have a primo sex life, but the first thing you don't want to do is put too much pressure on you and your partner to be sexual dynamos. That might just cause your dick to mysteriously go on strike and cause your girl's vagina to shrivel up due to lack of arousal.
The first thing you and your woman need to do is to be comfortable in your own bodies. It's really tough to have earth-shattering sex when you're worried about your fat ass, extra roll, or itty-bitty genitals.
Remember Not Quite Satisfied, we are all unique and beautiful whether short or tall, skinny or heavy, or whether or not we fit Hollywood's mold of beautiful. Because most of us will never be Hollywood.
It is really difficult for people to let go and get down and dirty if they have body image issues. Though this is an issue that is more common for women it still affects some men. If we are always sucking in our tummy during sex it's gonna be pretty tough to rattle one off.
Besides being okay with our bodies, people need to be comfortable with sex in general to have rock'em sock'em sex. You'll each need to do some sexual soul searching to improve your overall sexual self-esteem.
Not Quite Satisfied, you can accomplish this by putting some effort into your sex life. You and your partner can read sex books or you could play games like “Embrace” or “Pillow Talk,” which are designed to do this very thing.
The next thing you'll want to do to have GuinnessTM world record sex is to learn as a couple to communicate your sexual likes and dislikes. Not Quite Satisfied, if you can't tell your girl you want to play helicopter without being embarrassed, your bedroom activities will remain stagnant. Research shows that if you and your lady can tell each other how you wanna rock their genitals your sex lives will improve.
Couples who report having great sex say they switch up their routine regularly. So Not Quite Satisfied, if your idea of good sex is getting on top of your lady, thrusting 20 or 30 times till you cum, then roll off to sleep, you'd better wake up! Great sex means trying new and exciting things.
Now Not Quite Satisfied, I'm not suggesting you let her stick a wine bottle up your ass because that's just not safe. However, if you want to play with the sexual elite you'd better learn to step up your game and try new things.
Of course there are many more sex tips that I could recommend for you and all couples to have better sex. But, start with these and you'll have a few more scratch marks on your back side.
Dear Sex Doc;
I keep hearing this term BDSM. What does it stand for? Is it something I should get into?
Kink Virgin @ SAIT
Dear Kink Virgin @ SAIT;
Okay, first of all, you'd better know what you're getting into before you jump genitals first into it. You might find yourself in a bit of an uncomfortable predicament.
BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism. Bondage deals with tying someone up. Ropes, chains, and leather straps are common materials used to fasten someone up to the bedpost.
Discipline is when bed buddies play power games with one another. Kink Virgin, you might also hear this called dominance and submission. The sub ‘bottom' submits to the commands of the dom ‘top.'
Sadomasochism or what you might know as S & M (Sadism & Masochism) involves strong physical sensations from the sadist to the masochist. A sadist likes to inflict pain on another playmate. Lucky for them, masochists like being inflicted with pain.
And Kink Virgin, BDSM is not really about sex at all. In fact, most people who engage in power play don't have sex while they're in their role. It's really about an exchange of power.
But not everyone who delves into the BDSM world is hardcore. Kink Virgin, if you've ever playfully slapped your lover's butt, you may be considered a rookie power play artist.
Now Kink Virgin, you might be thinking ‘holy crap, I'm glad I asked before I found myself bound and gagged in a cage being whipped by some leather daddy.' But, light BDSM play is not as uncommon as you might think. Many people enjoy the erotic sensations brought on by feathers, whips, and paddles.
It's cool if you want to explore these tingly feelings. But, it's your choice. And, if you do go down BDSM lane, it's best to start light with a little spanking or tie up action.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
