Ask the Sex Doc: Sex Doc knows how to catch cheaters
Dear Sex Doc;
Okay, I'm not neurotic or anything, but I'm sure my boyfriend is cheating on me. He's being really weird with me and it doesn't seem like he likes me anymore. I've seen him with some of his girl friends and I swear they are talking about me behind my back. How do I know if he is cheating?
Only Slightly Neurotic at NAIT
Dear Only Slightly Neurotic at NAIT;
So you think your guy is diddling the neighbour, his ex, or your sister? You never know, he may be ball deep in some hotty, but you'd better not accuse him of riding the town bike till you get all the facts.
Many guys do cheat — 21 per cent admit to cheating on their partners compared to only 11 per cent of girls. There are many reasons for this, but basically, it's easier to be a dick when you've got one.
Proving your dude is sneaking around isn't always the easiest thing to find out, but here's some signs that might help you discover if your boy's been getting his willy wet elsewhere.
The most common sign he's found another playmate is when he becomes disinterested in banging you. He will probably seem emotionally distant in and out of the bedroom and stop pawing at you like a sex-crazed lunatic.
When a partner moonlights their daily routine generally changes. So, if your dude's suddenly saying he's ‘studying' at the library till midnight every night, you might want to pop by to make sure he ain't learning about the internal anatomy of some girl's precious.
And OSN, if your guy is acting suspicious, he might be double dipping. If he has a hard time looking you in the eye, you'd better run cause he's no doubt hiding something from you.
Has he accused you of getting pounced by someone else? People who play musical beds often do this to try and hide their guilt and shame and to send blame elsewhere.
If your guy suddenly starts to take better care of his appearance he might be laying pipe down the road. So, if he's all-of-a-sudden trimming his unruly bush, there's probably another set of eyes on his twig and berries.
OSN, the most important thing to do in this situation is to listen to your gut instinct. If your gut is telling you his wiener smells like someone else's love juices, you'd better confront him.
These are some of the signs, but many of these can happen naturally in the course of a relationship. So OSN, the only way to really find out if he's visiting another beaver dam is to ask him.
Don't go off the handle and say something like “you scum bag, I know you stuck it in some dirty skank this weekend. If you're cheating on me I'm gonna wax your pucker hole!”
Try to be a little less accusatory. Say something like “I've noticed you've been a little distant lately. Is there something you'd like to talk about?” You could add, “are you happy with our relationship?”
You might get an answer, but trying to get most guys to talk about relationship stuff is about as much fun as having a raging case of crabs.
He might not tell you the truth, so you're gonna have to listen to your gut instinct. Remember, relationships are built on trust and open and honest communication. If you don't have this, you might want to move on.
And, to be honest OSN, if your guy is good at covering up his ‘dirty dick' tracks, you might not really know he is cheating on you unless you catch him with his pants down.
So OSN and all you students out there, it is important to always use condoms with your partner even if you ‘think' you are monogamous. Since 16 per cent of people cheat, your partner might be bringing lots of nasty STIs into your relationship from their outside tricks.
And, as an aside for all you students out there who want to screw the entire men's volleyball team or women's swim team (or both if that's your fancy), don't be a dick or a pussy.
If you want multiple partners or an open relationship be honest with your partner. If they are willing to go along with your sexual merry-go-round, cool. If not, find a partner who is.
And remember, if you play, play safe.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
Okay, I'm not neurotic or anything, but I'm sure my boyfriend is cheating on me. He's being really weird with me and it doesn't seem like he likes me anymore. I've seen him with some of his girl friends and I swear they are talking about me behind my back. How do I know if he is cheating?
Only Slightly Neurotic at NAIT
Dear Only Slightly Neurotic at NAIT;
So you think your guy is diddling the neighbour, his ex, or your sister? You never know, he may be ball deep in some hotty, but you'd better not accuse him of riding the town bike till you get all the facts.
Many guys do cheat — 21 per cent admit to cheating on their partners compared to only 11 per cent of girls. There are many reasons for this, but basically, it's easier to be a dick when you've got one.
Proving your dude is sneaking around isn't always the easiest thing to find out, but here's some signs that might help you discover if your boy's been getting his willy wet elsewhere.
The most common sign he's found another playmate is when he becomes disinterested in banging you. He will probably seem emotionally distant in and out of the bedroom and stop pawing at you like a sex-crazed lunatic.
When a partner moonlights their daily routine generally changes. So, if your dude's suddenly saying he's ‘studying' at the library till midnight every night, you might want to pop by to make sure he ain't learning about the internal anatomy of some girl's precious.
And OSN, if your guy is acting suspicious, he might be double dipping. If he has a hard time looking you in the eye, you'd better run cause he's no doubt hiding something from you.
Has he accused you of getting pounced by someone else? People who play musical beds often do this to try and hide their guilt and shame and to send blame elsewhere.
If your guy suddenly starts to take better care of his appearance he might be laying pipe down the road. So, if he's all-of-a-sudden trimming his unruly bush, there's probably another set of eyes on his twig and berries.
OSN, the most important thing to do in this situation is to listen to your gut instinct. If your gut is telling you his wiener smells like someone else's love juices, you'd better confront him.
These are some of the signs, but many of these can happen naturally in the course of a relationship. So OSN, the only way to really find out if he's visiting another beaver dam is to ask him.
Don't go off the handle and say something like “you scum bag, I know you stuck it in some dirty skank this weekend. If you're cheating on me I'm gonna wax your pucker hole!”
Try to be a little less accusatory. Say something like “I've noticed you've been a little distant lately. Is there something you'd like to talk about?” You could add, “are you happy with our relationship?”
You might get an answer, but trying to get most guys to talk about relationship stuff is about as much fun as having a raging case of crabs.
He might not tell you the truth, so you're gonna have to listen to your gut instinct. Remember, relationships are built on trust and open and honest communication. If you don't have this, you might want to move on.
And, to be honest OSN, if your guy is good at covering up his ‘dirty dick' tracks, you might not really know he is cheating on you unless you catch him with his pants down.
So OSN and all you students out there, it is important to always use condoms with your partner even if you ‘think' you are monogamous. Since 16 per cent of people cheat, your partner might be bringing lots of nasty STIs into your relationship from their outside tricks.
And, as an aside for all you students out there who want to screw the entire men's volleyball team or women's swim team (or both if that's your fancy), don't be a dick or a pussy.
If you want multiple partners or an open relationship be honest with your partner. If they are willing to go along with your sexual merry-go-round, cool. If not, find a partner who is.
And remember, if you play, play safe.
Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.
This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.
