Reyno Rants: When shit hits the fan, clean it up

Header image for Interrobang article CREDIT: GRAPHICGEOFF ON THINKSTOCK
Rule one for using a urinal, is leave at least one space between you and a fellow pee-er if at possible; this is no time to make friends.

I put up with a lot of stuff during college, but there's just one thing that I couldn't stand: bad bathroom etiquette. I didn't think that this was something people would have a hard time grasping at a college level but then again, maybe my standards are too high. Sure maybe if we were all in grade two or three some of it might be excusable, but everyone in college is at least 17-years-old. Seriously, how have people lived this long and not figured it out yet?

Whenever there are more than two urinals, it is common courtesy to leave at least a one-urinal gap between people. However, if there are ever three empty urinals and you decide to use the middle one, you're just an asshole. Be nice and always use a urinal on the end of the row, thus avoiding any awkward situations.

If I'm standing at the urinal, minding my own damn business and there are four other urinals, everyone else best mind their own damn business too. Don't stand beside me, don't make eye contact with me and for the sake of humanity don't try to start a conversation.

Going to the bathroom can be awkward, especially if you and your friend both have to go. If your friend heads for a stall to do their business don't make fun of them for it, they're doing you both a favour. Nothing is more awkward than going to a two-urinal bathroom and standing side-by-side in a pee stalemate. Eventually one of you is going to have to break down and head for the stall anyway.

Speaking of stalls, holy crap some people can be disgusting. If you miss the seat, it is your obligation as a member of society to clean that thing. I don't care how much or how little is on that seat, no one else is going to use it for the rest of the day. What looks like a little speck to you will look like a battleground to the next person.

Just because you've left that stall with a clean seat doesn't mean you're off the hook though, you still have to flush that shit. Nothing is worse than walking into a stall and seeing someone else's burrito regrets. It takes two seconds to flush that, so why just walk away? How important is your time that you can't even push that lever? Who raised you?

I could go on and on about all of the issues I've faced with bathroom idiots at college but I digress, there's only one final thing that needs to be addressed. Wash your damn hands.

I don't care if you're just in there for a quick wiz or whatever, get some soap and get scrubbing. Sure you may think you're pretty clean, but no one knowingly shakes hands in a bathroom after doing their business. It's just common courtesy. If you walk into the bathroom, you best be leaving with clean hands.

Everybody has encountered a crappy bathroom experience at one time or another but it doesn't take much to change that. Be courteous, don't try to make friends and leave the place like you found it. If you want to be a slob or be social or go people watching, head to the cafeteria, no one should have to put up with any shit but their own.

Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.